Love!

  I heard a beautiful song yesterday while driving, and although it was a spiritual song, it reminded me of a mother’s love. The singer was thanking God for loving him through his good and his bad. I glanced at Firstborn and smiled. He is as sweet as he can be, yet he is a ripe teenager – full blown in teen essence. Firstborn’s rite of passage into his adult years is being used to groom me into a more loving person – not just a mother. 

It isn’t easy to love someone through their bad, but it’s possible. When someone has made unwise decisions and bad choices, judgment and criticism is automatic, but to show love often takes a minute. 

When I look back over my life at all my wrong doings, I can’t help but shake my head. I thank God my parents didn’t kill me when I was a teenager. I was sweet, but sneaky with a lot of mouth – my parents loved me through my bad. I thank God my husband hasn’t left me – I’m a good wife, but I’ve murdered hubby continually with my words and thoughts – he loves me through my bad. I thank God my few friends accept me for who I am – I hate the phone and I never call them – never.  Who am I to not love Firstborn or anyone else through their bad?  Love is patient and kind. Love is long suffering. Love bears and endures all things – ALL things…even the bad. Love goes against our natural reaction. I thought I knew what love was, but Firstborn is teaching me what love really is. It’s so easy to fuss, criticize, and get frustrated with others. Those reactions solve absolutely nothing, but love solves everything. Love never fails. Love conquers all.

Have You Seen My Shorts?

 
I wash, dry, fold, hang, and put away all my husband's clothes. Do I take pride in this? Absolutely not. Oh yea, I pick up his dirty clothes and also place his dirty uniforms in his work laundry bag. It's my job, right? 

I know I touched a few nerves with that one...I touched my own nerves! 

Granted, I work from home while he's out "busting his butt," so the least I can do is his laundry, right? Well, I don't mind doing it - really I don't. Laundry is a small task in my eyes. After all, I don't literally wash anything - the washing machine does.

My reason for this post is a question I have. If a sock gets lost or a pair of shorts are misplaced, is it my fault? One day, hubby asked if I had seen his black shorts. In my mind, I said, "I don't wear your shorts, so no, I haven't seen them." Hubby heard me say, "No, I haven't." A couple of days later, he asked, "Did you find my shorts?" Before I realized it, I snapped and said, "I haven't been looking for them!" Was I supposed to look for his shorts? I'm sure a good wife would have - I guess I'm not if looking for shorts is a prerequisite for being a "good" wife.  The lost pair of shorts are not underwear shorts, but a nice pair of black casual wear shorts. Anyway....I asked him if he looked in the closet and the chair where I sometimes throw laundry until I feel like hanging it up. He said he looked eeeeverywhere! My curiosity got the best of me, so I got up from my computer with a big sigh and went on a hunt for the shorts. Low and behold, the first place I looked, there they were - neatly placed on the back of the chair with a bunch of other clothes waiting to be put in their proper place. I held them up and asked if they were the shorts he was looking for. He examined them and held them out to see the size (no one in the house wears his size) and said, "Wow, they must have just gotten there, because I looked there." Really? Whatever!

Sometimes I wonder if husbands purposely can't find the food in the refrigerator or a single sock, or a tie on purpose. They think it's the wife's job to keep up with the clothes THEY wear. Hmmm....if I pick them up, wash them, dry them, fold them, and hang them, should I keep up with the whereabouts of these said clothing items?

I don't think anyone has the answer, wives just do what we do and we do it because we do. Now that I have completely confused myself, I hear the dryer buzzer going off...there's laundry to fold and put away!

Monday Meditation - You Won!

I fell asleep on the sofa last night watching the words on the computer screen blink, “You won!” It was from a card game hubby played and obviously won. I thought about the many things I’ve started in my life and chose not to finish. I can’t win unless I finish the game/task to the end. Hmmm…sounds like a commitment issue to me. I woke up at about 2:30 a.m. and the words were still flashing, “You won!” I prayed for a while then turned on the television. I heard a man say, “Don’t start something if you don’t intend to see it to the end.” GASP! He was talking about commitment! Coincidence? I don’t think so. He also mentioned the only thing we can control is our persistence. I turned the television off quickly; I got the message. 


I haven’t been committed in a lot of areas of my life. I’ve had thoughts of leaving my marriage instead of staying to the end. I’ve gotten tired of mothering my teenaged boys – whew, I get tired! I can’t tell you how many ideas I’ve started and walked away from. I don’t even cook on weekends because I got tired of cooking. The only way I can improve my commitment is to allow God to order my every step in every aspect of my life – to the end. This is the only way I’ll win, so all the superficial ideas and goals must cease. I don’t have time to waste time! I must focus on my purpose. This change I need to make begins with my commitment to God. I have to listen to His voice and not my own. Sounds simple, but even this takes commitment! Well, it’s another Monday and another chance to start anew. I can do this – we can do this – we can win…with God’s help! Have a winning Monday!

Monday Meditation - No Guilt

 
Both my sons play basketball year-round, so a weekend without basketball is rare. Sunday, they both had to go separate ways, so Firstborn took one car and hubby and Secondborn took the other car. We don’t roll with three cars, so I was without transportation on Sunday. I felt guilty for not going to church, but later realized guilt was not the right emotion. Several questions crossed my mind…how many times did you miss forgiving someone this week? How many times did you miss showing compassion and love this week? How many times did you miss not judging this week? And I felt guilty about missing church? I laughed at my self-righteous and guilty feelings. 

I went through a stage when I was just going through the motions of going to church and feeling good because I went on a regular basis. God isn’t going to love me any more or any less by my sitting on the pew, but He sure wants me to worship Him – year round – every day of the year. I don’t want to get into that “going through the motions” slump again and forget how important it is to apply what I’m learning Sunday after Sunday, Wednesday after Wednesday. I’ve got so much church in me; my light should blind others before they approach me! I should be a shining example of what going to church will do for you! I was reminded – going to church is something I do, but worship is something I live – it’s a lifestyle. 

Many of you reading this don’t attend church on a regular basis or not at all. God doesn’t want your guilt; He wants your life, all of it – mind, body, and soul…not just on Sundays, but year-round! The boys’ year-round basketball gave me a wonderful life lesson and my Coach doesn’t want me to get comfortable sitting on the bench!

Monday Meditation - Where's Your Concentration?

I’ve been working on a writing project for someone and I thought I was finished weeks ago; however, after reading over it, I noticed several things wrong with it, so I started over. This morning, I needed a spiritual word to dive into it again. I opened my devotional book and read, “Beware of any work for God that causes you to avoid concentrating on Him.”  I love it when I receive exactly what I need in my present situation.  I’ve always been careful to depend on God when I sit to write – always.  This particular writing project is one of the most demanding pieces I’ve ever worked on and because it’s not for me, I feel pressure to perform. My pressure has led to stress, which led to doubting my abilities, which took my concentration off God. It doesn’t take much to forget where our abilities come from! Even my day to day tasks should be done while concentrating on God, and I should definitely concentrate on God while fulfilling my roles as wife and mother! 

God can give me every word for my project just as He gives me the words for the Monday Meditations – every week. If I take myself out of the project, I can fully depend and lean on God, and allow Him to complete this project through me. Also in my morning devotion was, “Once our concentration is on God, all the limits of our life are free and under the control and mastery of God alone. There is no longer any responsibility on you for the work.” WOW! My pressure has turned to peace, and my doubt has turned to dependence - on Him. Whatever we’re working on right now - a case, file, client, event, book, or a load of laundry, let’s get the pressure off of us, concentrate on God, and watch how He works!

Exercise or Die

Are you a couch potato?

 Okay, so you won’t literally die if you don’t exercise, but you’ll die trying to deal with aches and pains as your body ages. Trust me; your beautiful young body gets a little older every day. 

While walking through the hospital recently, I found myself walking behind an older couple. The woman appeared much younger than the man and he could barely walk even though he had his companion's help and the help of his cane. I walked around them and a couple minutes later, they walked into the same waiting room I was in. 

Out of all the seats in the waiting room area, the woman chose to sit right next to me. I chuckled and decided to find out what I was wondering while I was walking behind them earlier. We spoke and smiled, so that was my cue to ask, "Is that your husband?"  She said he was and told me he was 88 years old, she was five years younger, and they’ve been married for 66 years. I stared at her in disbelief because there seemed to be a huge age gap between them. I wanted to boldly ask her why she looked so much younger than her husband, but I didn’t have to. She continued talking. Are you ready? She said she always believed in exercise and taking care of her body, but her husband – not so. Wow. She also mentioned she’s been exercising for over 50 years. I wish you could have seen this 83 year old woman. She looked all of 60 – maybe 65 years old. She really blew me away when she told me she still teaches aerobics a few days a week! Get outta here! Really? I felt an electrifying urge to start jogging through the hospital halls and do a few jumping jacks, but decided to maintain my composure and sit still. I was so grateful this woman sat next to me and shared her pearls of wisdom. I caught each pearl she tossed me.  “Stay active. Don’t stop moving! Exercise makes a big difference as you see for yourself.” She was referring to the difference in her health and her husband’s health. By looking at them...HUGE difference.  

It’s never too late to begin exercising, but why wait? How you treat your body now is exactly how it will treat you 10 – 20 – 30 years from now. Just because we age, doesn't mean we have to become immobile, slow, or have stiff joints. I saw it for myself!