I am often criticized by mothers who disagree with my mothering techniques, and I'm okay with this - really I am. One of the reasons the statement, "Don't judge me, learn from me" is placed at the head of the posts is to inform readers that I'm well aware that I'm not Queen Mother with all the correct answers. I make mistakes daily and I am learning the art of mothering with each passing day.
If you read the previous post, you know my husband placed a challenging task on my son and I'm proud to say second-born completed his task by the deadline! Yipppeee! He was rewarded and I exhaled. It may not have been the right thing for hubby to do, but he did and I supported his decision.
I received an email basically saying our decision was wrong. I appreciated the mother's honesty with me, after all, I live on keeping it real and being transparent. We are all entitled to our opinions, but there isn't a perfect mother on the planet - not on planet Earth!
As the founder of MOMSWEB, I try hard not to place judgement on mothers and I really try not to tell mothers how to raise their children. Yes, suggestions are offered through my own experiences, but that's it - they are my experiences and what works for my children may not work for yours. Your child may respond to the mother's look of conviction whereas another mother may have to pop her child to get his/her attention. One mother may not believe in spanking whereas another mother believes in the belt without hesitation. Your child may not need curfews, but another child may need more guidance regarding when to come home. Some mothers give their teenagers freedom on the Internet while others are close by monitoring.
It would be great if our common goal was the well-being of all children, but I wonder if our goal is to out-mother each other or to win a non-existing Best Mother Award. Our mothering decisions should be based on what is best for our children and our home - not on what another mother thinks, says, or does.
This is the part of mothering I love - our differences.
- Our differences push us to learn to love and accept one another regardless of the decisions we make.
- Our differences show us there are other ways of doing things besides our way.
- Our differences show us how much we compete and compare.
Whether we share publicly or privately in our head, we're human and we have the unfortunate ability to compare - and judge.
Please continue to send emails and share your comments; I love them all! This is what MOMSWEB is all about - offering a non-condemning environment for all mothers while sharing the reality of Motherhood!