I'm a writer and Secondborn obviously doesn't understand if I don't write, I don't get paid.
Yes, I spend A LOT of time on my laptop. I admit that - I love to write - it's like breathing to me.
Secondborn recently told me I was addicted to my computer and I needed to take a break for a couple of days. My reply? "Okay, you take a break from your Playstation and the television and I'll take a break from my laptop."
His reply? SILENCE!
Call it an addiction if you want, but I call it doing something I love, a hobby, or .....my JOB!
Seeing a child mistreated invites Miss Flesh to show up. Seeing my own child mistreated invites Miss Flesh to act a fool. A better way to say this is to say this mama bear does not play. Miss Flesh showed up this weekend during another basketball tournament. It’s something about that basketball court and me. Firstborn and one of the players from the opposing team grabbed the ball at the same time and tussled for it. It looked like the opponent gained possession of the ball and when Firstborn walked away, his opponent followed him. The next thing I knew, the referee was blowing his whistle and throwing Firstborn and the opponent out of the game. I went off – oops…I mean Miss Flesh showed up.
Before I knew it, Mama Bear stood up on her hind legs and started growling. I let everyone know that was my child and I would protect him! That night, I was assured that someone has my back that same way - my heavenly Father. He’s ready to fight all my battles. He told me no weapon formed against me will prosper. He always has my back and is ready to go to war for me at all times. The best part of this is His promise that I will always win – always. As long as I remain in the “secret place” and abide with Him, I’m safe! I’m sure the Lord’s love for me surpasses my love for my children, so I can’t imagine what He feels for me or the children he entrusted in my care. After all, He died for me! I can live my life knowing I’m covered and protected – all because Jesus loves me. Even when Miss Flesh shows up, I still win because my life lessons, through her, draw me closer to Him.
Firstborn is #12 in the blue uniform
Firstborn is #12 in the blue uniform
Having babies use to be my excuse for my little belly fat, but now that the boys are teenagers, I don't think that excuse is believable anymore. I've had many years to loose the baby fat, which has now settled into belly fat. Sigh... My older sister told me years ago, it was just easier to put another baby in the sagging bag instead of trying to get rid of it. Well, I did that, but now that I'm approaching 50, I don't think putting a baby in my sagging bag is such a good idea anymore.
Much of the middle-aged mid section (nice name for it) is due to stress, lack of exercise, lack of fiber in the diet, or couch potato results. I have a tall, slender frame, so to add a spare tire around my waist just doesn't look right - not to me. I'm not trying to please anyone, but I've never seen this on my body before - not to this extent, so I'm wondering where in the world it came from? It just slipped up on me! Hmmm...very strange.
Maybe the late night cookies and milk that I use to reward myself with for when I had a rough day in motherhood. Maybe for the second helpings I got at dinner that didn't seem to matter at the time. Maybe from the movie marathons with popcorn. Maybe from the many Snickers bars I had over the years that craved my hunger? Who knows, all I know is that the spare tire needs to go in the trunk...there is nothing back there! You know what I mean?
It's never too late to exercise and although I exercise on a regular basis, I obviously missed that part of my body. Unbelievable! You can try to run from the middle-aged mid section, but you can't hide NOR can you hide IT. sigh...
Lately, most of my writing has been for other people who hire me and instead of my name being on the work, they get the credit for it; it’s called ghost writing. I get paid, but I don’t get public credit. I enjoy it and it helps pay the bills, but there have been a couple of pieces that I wanted to tell someone, “I wrote that!”
This morning, I thought about my role as a wife and mother and how I sometimes feel like a ghost. Things get done around the house, but no one acknowledges who did it. Is it necessary to be recognized? No. Is it important? Not really. Would I like to be acknowledged for what I do? I’m human; of course I would…at least sometimes! Secondborn doesn’t put a fork to his mouth to eat without first saying, “Thank you, Mama.” It just warms my heart to hear his compassionate heart speak to me. I’ve been a mother for sixteen years and a wife for eighteen, so I know how to be a servant without kudos or awards – it’s what I do.
Being a ghost mother or a ghost wife is a humbling journey. It helps to be reminded that what I do isn’t for acknowledgement, but I’ve been appointed - it’s my calling; there is a difference. God recognizes everything I do – everything. He knows the spirit in which I do it and He knows my heart. Mother’s Day has come and gone, but God still recognizes me each day. I am His special daughter chosen to care for the specific three people in my home. I’ve been entrusted to nurture them, love them, and most of all to be an example of Christ to them – serve them. Sometimes Miss Flesh gets in the way, but keeping my focus on God and not what I do keeps me grounded as a ghost.
The telephone was left off the charger all night, which meant I couldn’t speak with my prayer partner this morning; the phone had no juice. I found the phone right next to Firstborn, so I’m sure he fell asleep talking to his little girlfriend. I picked up the phone, placed it on the charger and noticed my laptop wasn’t plugged up. Amazingly, I didn’t have an immediate trash thought, but simply picked up my computer, retrieved the chord and plugged it in, which led me straight to my meditation room to plug into my own Power source. I needed some juice – spiritual juice.
Today is the first day of summer vacation – everyone is home and everyone does something to irritate someone else. Little things have a way of pushing my buttons, but this morning I received my warning to prepare to be pushed. If I don’t recognize the little things as ploys to drive me batty, I’ll trip up and end up fussing all summer long. Miss Flesh has a lot of buttons, but when I stay plugged in to my Power source and remain fully charged, those buttons push me to pray instead of going off. Nothing is that serious – an uncharged phone, dead computer, refrigerator left open all night, falling asleep with the television on, dirty clothes on the floor, empty pitchers in the frig, trash overflowing, shoes in the floor, wet clothes left in the washer overnight, dirty dishes in the sink, etc… I say again, nothing is that serious…it’s all a ploy to trip me up.
Miss Flesh has gotten better over the years – a lot better, but not being charged is an invitation for disaster! How’s your summer looking? For those of you with adult children, you have another set of buttons to be pushed! We have a choice to not react to pushed buttons or to act like a fool, but only if we’re charged up! If not, we’ll be starving for spiritual juice! Have you had your juice today? Happy Monday, and stay charged up!