Love Doesn't Hurt



Television will edit shows to allow viewers to see only what they want us to see and hear, but last night while watching The Amazing Race, I saw something that disturbed me. One married couple made it to the final three and on the final leg of the race; the husband belittled and degraded his wife’s performance. She busted her butt to help get them to the finals; however, she did not meet his high expectations of being a winner. She mentioned that he expects her to be the perfect woman. While she sniffled and apologized for her performance, I waited for him to apologize for his verbal abuse, but that part must have been edited out. All I heard him say was, “It’s okay.” Another part that must have been edited was her response to his ugly words; her lips never parted to correct him – never. Ladies, we are daughters of a King, which makes us royalty. Those of us who are married, we are  gifts to our groom.

Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and we weren’t created to allow verbal, mental, emotional, or physical abuse to or against our temple. LOVE DOESN’T HURT. For various reasons, the holidays increase all types of abuse, so please be aware of this. The couple from The Amazing Race was in a stressful situation and of course tempers flare and we act out of character (or maybe true character) during stressful times, but there is no excuse or validation for repeated abuse.

I speak boldly about this because I’ve been there. I’ve been verbally, mentally, and even physically abused. I allowed a live-in boyfriend to repeatedly beat me. I went to another woman for counsel and she told me to stand by my man. Really? I know better now – LOVE DOESN’T HURT. Ladies, love yourself enough to protect your temple from abuse. If you need help, seek wise counsel. LOVE DOESN’T HURT.

Joining the 9-5




  After being retired from the United States Navy for twelve years, homeschooling for nine years, and enjoying the comfort of my own home as a homemaker, I’ve boldly left the homefront, and returned to the 9-5 workforce. Firstborn has left for college and Secondborn is in the tenth grade, so I believe I’ve grown out of society’s label of being a SAHM, and it was time to receive my new season of motherhood. I applied for quite a few jobs and was finally hired at a local radio station. My new career in radio broadcasting is another blog post, yet coming out of retirement and leaving my position of homemaker after twelve years is definitely a story to be told.

I’m not a stranger to the 9-5 workforce; remember, I served twenty years in the military, so I know what it's like to come home to a frozen chicken wanting to be cooked, but it’s been a long time. My old-school husband thinks I’m supposed to come home from work and cook everyday, but it didn’t take long for him to realize he’s not the only one tired from work. His job is physically draining, yet my job is mentally draining, and although I work fewer hours than he does, my mind tells my body to shut down each day after work, so I find myself taking a power nap before the family comes home. Those naps feel soooo good! Rest is definitely a woman’s secret weapon whether we work inside or outside the home. So much is required of us that it’s crucial to renew our mind and body.

I plan to share more about my transition to the 9-5 and how much I miss my homefront, but for now, I want mothers to embrace your current season of motherhood. It goes by fast and it will change. Unfortunately, it’s guaranteed to change. While I enjoyed my little ones and watching them grow up, I never stopped to accept the fact that they wouldn’t be little forever. Time doesn’t stand still and unfortunately, neither do our small children. My empty nest is just a couple years away and I’m so grateful for the graaaadual changes to prepare me for my season change.
 
The very hurts of life that mothers try to protect children from are the hurts that teach the best life lessons.   
LIFE IS A TEACHER!

Support Group?


I cracked up in a mother’s face this weekend when she told me she didn’t like teenagers and wondered if there was a support group. The more she shared, the more I laughed. Why did I laugh? Because I’ve been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. As a matter of fact, I’m on teenage terrain now with Secondborn. Momswseb was created to offer support in this most providential role of motherhood. After I stopped laughing at this desperate sounding mother, I was able to share my first journey into the teen years, yet was also able to assure her of the hope – around age eighteen, they come out of their dark hole and show signs of normalcy. 

The teen years also show us ourselves – they show us what we’re made of and it usually isn’t pretty. I was convinced Firstborn’s job was to make me lose my mind, but thank God for being my Keeper. I survived and I’m going at it again with Secondborn, yet I’m not the same mother. I’m a more grounded, sane mother. I know what to expect – almost anything that doesn’t make sense. Teenagers will take you to the King! While we think we’re raising our children; they are raising us. They help us to mature as mothers and are used to teach us patience, acceptance, mercy, and a few other things. My question is…when they become adults, why are they called adult-children. Isn’t that an oxymoron? Maybe that’s why we still have to take care of them because we’re still calling them children! Why not call them matured seeds or ripe offspring? I thank the women around me with adult-children who will be my support. You’ve been there, done that, and got the t-shirt! 

The journey of motherhood is full of changing seasons, but thank goodness we don’t have to travel alone.

Stir It Up!

This morning after praying with my prayer partner, I made the comment that we have the Spirit of the living, majestic G.O.D. living inside us. Can you imagine this for a minute? The same God that created the heavens and the universe left us with His Spirit and it resides in us. It’s almost scary when you really think about it. We have the power of a living God inside us. There is no need for us to ever be in a position that we are overwhelmed with the cares of this world or living without direction and peace of mind. The Spirit of an omnipotent God rests within us and maybe that’s the problem – it’s resting. We don’t use the Spirit enough or maybe we don’t know how to use it. He sits dormant and waits to be stirred up while we whine, cry, and pray for God’s help. He gave us His Spirit – can He give us anything more?

I know I probably use just a fraction of His power in me, but when I awoke this morning, I realized something. I had been sleeping for almost eight hours, so of course my organs and brain needed time to realize they weren’t working in sleep mode anymore. I even drank some water to help my brain cells and organs get in gear. I slowly felt my mind and energy being renewed. The same is with the Spirit of God living in us. We have to activate it or it will simply rest – all day. The power is waiting for us to stir it up with prayer and praise. If not, His Spirit will be in rest mode and we will be spiritually weary all day. We have power! Supernatural power! Wake the power up! Stir the power up! Live in the Spirit of God and have a successful, productive week!



The Best I've Ever Tasted!



 

I thought my guilty pleasure was chocolate, yet as I grow older, my pleasure has modified itself into something a little more sophisticated…tea. Not just a tall glass of iced tea, but a cup of hot tea enjoyed in the evening with a small dessert portion. Okay, maybe the portion isn’t so small, but it compliments the tea. I recently received a box of coffee samples in the mail, and to my surprise; I saw a few samples of green and red tea!  WooHoo! 

After I calmed down from the excitement of my unexpected surprise, I noticed a couple of hot chocolate and coffee samples. I’m not a coffee drinker, but decided to try all three beverages; after all, they were free. I waited until one evening when I was desperate for a little comfort. I tried the green tea, which is my favorite, and it was the most smooth-tasting green tea I’ve ever tasted! Hmmm…I wondered if there was some secret ingredient in the tea. It sure wasn’t the Dollar General tea I was used to. 

A few days later, I decided to try a cup of hot chocolate and it was really, really rich and smooth – definitely not the average cup of hot chocolate. Gosh, what’s in this stuff? Because I enjoyed the other beverages so much, I decided to try a cup of coffee. UN BE LIEVE ABLE! It was sooo delicious; and I noticed I didn’t have the caffeine jitters. I actually felt good! 

After trying all three beverages, my curiosity got the best of me, so I read the information sent with the samples and was amazed at not only what I call the secret ingredient, but also the health benefits! Really? It explained why I felt so good after consuming my new guilty pleasures. I could tell you a little more, but I want you to experience what I did. 

All you have to do, is click on the link below and request your free samples. That’s it! 

Will I turn into a coffee drinker? I’m not sure, but if I ever decide to, I know exactly what to buy!  For now...tea for me, please!

 Free Samples, Please!
If link doesn't work...randrcoffee@gmail.com

Best Part of Waking Up...



 I woke up with a jingle for coffee in my head. I believe it’s a Folgers commercial and it says, “The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup!” I’m not a coffee drinker, I’m a tea girl, but the catchy, coffee jingle took me somewhere I’d like to stay. It’s the first part of the jingle that spoke to me. The best part of waking up…Hmmm…in my mind, the best part of waking up is realizing I’m awake.

 I don’t need to go through the rest of the day to find out what kind of day I’ll have because the best part is waking up. Can the day get any better? When I think about the alternative to waking up, it makes me want to shout! I’m here another day in spite of my mess on yesterday. Thank you, Lord! 

It’s a new day that I haven’t seen before and as it unwraps itself, I dare not complain about the light afflictions that will try to steal my focus. I dare not allow OPP, other people’s problems, to create drag in my day. I dare not waste time thinking about yesterday’s issues and miss out on the blessings of today. I dare not allow trash thoughts to suffocate my peaceful thoughts of the gift of life. Oh yes, the best part of my day is definitely waking up! No doubt, there are guaranteed traps and snares set to try to ruin my day, so how do I plan to maintain this joyful mindset? There is only one way…by staying connected to my Creator. 

The second half of the jingle just came to me, but I have my own words. The best part of waking up, is Jesus in my life! Now that’s a jingle! May you have a marvelous Monday and enjoy the best part of waking up!

What Am I?

  Labels...if you know anything about me, you know I dislike the labels placed on moms. We probably place them on ourselves, but you know what I mean - Stay at Home Mom, Working Mom, Work at Home Mom, Part Time Mom, Soccer Mom, Homeschooling Mom, Lazy Mom, Type A Mom, etc...

I believe I've held a few of those labels, but I'm up in the air now. I home schooled both my boys, sent them to public school their high school years. Firstborn is now a Freshmen in college and Secondborn is a sophomore in high school. I haven't worked outside the home since I retired from the USN twelve years ago. Am I still a Stay At Home Mom with a Freshman in college? Since I previously home schooled, am I now considered a retired home school mom? When do I switch labels and what will I be when Secondborn graduates from high school? Surely not a stay at home mom, right?

Wait a minute, I'm a writer, so where does that fit in? Am I a Stay at Home / Work at Home Mom? Would that be considered a SAHWAHM? Sounds really important doesn't it? That label could be considered a high profile mother. LOL!

The whole name game is ridiculous! Why do we need to be put in a box that we will eventually outgrow? . Being a mother covers all seasons of motherhood and the journey of our children from newborn to college level young adults. Regardless of where our children are in life, we will never stop being their Mother and that's the joy of motherhood!

I Won! World's Best Mom


GASP! OMG!

I had no idea I was the world’s best mom, but I am! I’m simply elated and happy as HELLman’s mayonnaise! I found out about my prestigious title while at the gym recently. I was walking on the treadmill at a speed of 3.2 and incline of 3.0, and going nowhere fast. One of the early morning shows was on and some man was being interviewed for his homemade lasagna. Oh, excuse me, his WORLD’S BEST lasagna. This once unknown man made national news all because he titled his lasagna the world’s best and shared his recipe on the Internet. Cooks from all over the world tried his recipe and loved it. His fame and fortune is a result of him simply thinking his lasagna was the best and believing in it.

I’m not trying to obtain fame or fortune or gain national media attention, but I do attempt to do the best I can as a mother to my two sons. I don’t try to be the best of all mothers, but I do give my personal best. Being a mother is the most challenging and rewarding role in the world and I’m one of them. This, in itself, is an honor.  

Guess what? Just in case no one has informed you, you too, are the world’s best mother! Yes, you are! If you think you are; you are, so congratulations to you! Best doesn’t mean we’re perfect, but it means we are perfectly imperfect and that we acknowledge our shortcomings and our inadequacies as a mother. Being the best means we love our children unconditionally in spite of the times they get on our last nerve. Best means we mother our children endlessly in spite of feeling sick, tired, or sick and tired. Best means being the best at what we do knowing darn well that most of the time we don’t have a clue about what we’re doing. Best means loving the children entrusted in our care even when we don’t always feel loved back. Best means not caring what anyone else says or thinks, in your mind, you are the WORLD’S BEST MOM for your children and no one can do your job quite like you.

Again, congratulations and let's enjoy our invisible award!
 
Our children need to know we love them not only when they do right, but especially when they do wrong.

Why Now?

I recently had a conversation with someone, and it ended with the question, “Why now?” We both had a few things going on and wondered what was so special about right now that God would allow a particular circumstance to change or unfold. I can’t speak for anyone else, but God seems to shake my life up when I least expect it – when things seem to be going okay or when the waters aren’t so choppy. When I think I need a screwdriver, He’ll throw me a wrench. I’ve even asked why now regarding my new career. Why not when my finances were no finances and I was robbing Peter and not paying Paul? Why now? Why does my computer act up when I’m working on a deadline? Why is my family most needy when I’m working on a project?

To try to figure God out is a waste of time. His thoughts and ways are not ours, and His timing definitely isn’t ours. I have to remind myself that everything is not about me, so I shouldn’t even entertain the question, why now. There are other people sharing the air I breathe and existing in this big world I live in. I have to get out of my selfish shell and stop asking what God’s will is for my life, and simply seek His will – period. Me, me, me…everything is not about me! I get sick of being stuck on self, but I’m thankful for the gentle nudge back into reality. The circumstances surrounding me are also influencing the lives of those surrounding me. So, why now? Because God said so! Sounds just like something a parent would say, doesn’t it?

Whatever happens today, let’s remember that God’s plans are more strategically thought out than our plans, and there is always a bigger picture we can’t see.


Being a mom can seem like a thankless job,
but we're so thankful 
for the opportunity to be called, mom!

Key to Confidence


 
We hold the key to our child's potential. 
The sooner we unlock it, the sooner they can feel confident and secure in who they are, and in their abilities.

Bible Study Anyone?

I did something last week that I’ve never done before. I’ve been thirsty for a Bible Study group, so I asked a woman who is knowledgeable of the Bible to open her home and lead a Bible Study. I’ve always felt a connection with this woman, so I was even bold enough to request she hold it on a Saturday because week days wouldn’t work. I went a little further and requested if she could do it early, so my Saturday schedule wouldn’t interfere. Not only was this wonderful woman willing, but she said I could bring someone. 

When I asked her what time, she granted my wish and scheduled it early – six a.m. early. Uh…okay. I didn’t even bother asking anyone to come with me. I take no credit for requesting this early morning Bible study; it was planted in my spirit. Sunday school is good, but not enough. With so many changes going on in my life, I need to know, experience, and recognize God within my changes at an optimum level. I study the scriptures, but there is no discussion; it’s just me. 

I wasn’t bold enough to request the book I wanted her to incorporate in the study, but guess what? When I arrived at the willing woman’s home, fifteen minutes late, she joyfully welcomed me and guess what she showed me? She had the exact book I wanted to request, Experiencing God! I knew this was not a coincidence, but a God incident.  All I can say is that I can’t wait for the next one. Yes, six a.m. is early, but don’t we find time to do everything else we want to do? 

I’m tired of my own excuses and I’m sure God is, too.  As it turns out, it wasn’t me making bold requests, but God is requesting a few things of me.  How about you? Is God making any requests of you?

The Best Me

I watched Serena Williams win her 5th US Open title last week.  It wasn’t easy for her, but she played the last set with such determination and passion. While she proudly held her trophy in the air, I wondered what it felt like to be a champion, number one, or in my case, a best-selling author. I pictured myself holding up a trophy and laughed to myself while thinking – you can’t be the best anything until you become your best Self.

I was created with very specific gifts, talents, and abilities and until I learn to do everything unto the Lord and be the best me, I can forget being champion of anything. Am I being the best mother to Firstborn and Secondborn? Have I been the best helper to my husband, or the best sister, daughter, aunt, or friend? No, no, and no; I have not. If I can’t be trusted with the little things, how can I ever be any kind of champion?  It’s so easy to want what someone else has, but being a good steward over what God has entrusted me with is being a champion ME.

Going through the day with a mediocre mindset produces mediocre results. Everything we touch has the possibility to be great – a file, a claim, a report, a meeting, and even the dinner we prepare. I was reminded in my meditation this morning that I was created by Him for Him, so everything must be done unto Him – to bring God glory. Serena won 3.5 million dollars for winning. Good grief, I just want to get out of debt and maybe have a little extra to eat out. I’m happy for Serena’s accomplishment; she has worked hard and is reaping what she sowed. We definitely reap what we sow.

With that said, let’s get to work, and work like champions.

A Mother's Prayers

I had seventeen years with Firstborn before he left for college, and cutting the apron strings is, by far, the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Sometimes when I think about Firstborn, I get a big lump in my throat. I don’t care if he is less than three hours away, or that he’s surrounded by family, or on a Christian campus, or having the time of his life being away from home. Firstborn is out of the house – away from me. I know time will help me move on, but a conversation I had with another mother yesterday didn’t help.

This mother shared some upsetting news about her sweet, college son and hearing it brought tears to my eyes. Of course, I thought about Firstborn. It only takes a second for children to take a detour on their life’s journey, and what can a mom do? Nothing except pray. I thought about this mother’s son all day yesterday and last night. With each thought, I prayed for him. I know his mother has done everything to raise him, love him, nurture him, discipline him, mold him, correct him, shelter him, teach him, and sometimes even save him. She, without a doubt, did her part. I’ve done my part also, so the only thing left to do is to keep them covered in prayer. I’ve stepped up my prayers in a way I never thought I could.

Firstborn’s life is out of my hands. His life should have never been in my hands, but you know what I mean. I have to trust my training and leave Firstborn where he belongs – in his Heavenly Father’s hands. I was a sweet, quiet girl growing up, but when I left home, I made some unbelievable, dreadful choices.

Let’s just say I thank God for my mother’s fervent prayers.

Whatever It Takes

Not many mothers will admit not feeling like mothering, but there are days we wake up and just want to turn over in bed instead of getting out of bed. Unfortunately, duty calls and so do the dishes, the laundry, the diapers, the homework, the meetings, the appointments, and so much more. No time to turn over in bed, but we can turn over our tired attitude and renew our mind by pouring a little more into ourselves before we pour into our family. Whatever it takes, moms...just do it, and don't forget to TAKE CARE OF U.

Discipline

 
A little discipline goes a loooong way. 
Start early...toddlers become teenagers.

Tired Moms

Being tired is a part of a mother's job description; 
it comes with the territory

Don't Judge!

Don't judge another mother's choices in raising her children until you've walked in her shoes. 

You Don't Control Me!


I’ve been assisting a gentleman get a program off the ground and he’s a little bossy. I think he forgets that I’m not his employee; I volunteered to help him. I don’t like being told what to do – at all. Anyway, I had to put this Mister in his place. You don’t tell me what to do; you ask me.  Who does he think he is – Mr. Control? I’m sure it’s just his nature, but it doesn’t mesh with my nature at all; I have my own control issues.

I know wives with controlling husbands or married to a man who has taken the “leader” position to an ungodly level. No woman should be afraid to stand up or speak up for herself. No wife should be afraid to spend money or come and go as she pleases – within reason, of course. 

I understand we need someone to be accountable to in marriage, but who is the man being accountable to for his spending and his going and coming?  I’m just asking! My attitude is justified. I’m aware of too many unhappy wives who are being submissive to raggedy husbands – husbands who are verbally or mentally abusive, controlling, and some are cheating. Let’s not even speak of physical abuse – no excuse for it at all. My attitude is probably why I’ve had issues in my own marriage. Only God controls me. 

Some of you may not agree and that’s fine; but I make no apologies for speaking up when something just doesn’t seem right, and control in marriage IS NOT RIGHT. There is a way to treat and speak to a woman. We are precious jewels – daughters of a King, and we deserve to be treated and talked to as such. I’m sorry, Mister, but you don’t control me…my God does! Maybe this is the root of the problem with submission. If husbands were led by God, wives would gladly follow!

A Horrible Mom!



A HORRIBLE MOM - Can I be real? A perfect mother does not exist. We all snap, lose it, or reach our breaking point, then say or do something we later regret. You're not alone! I receive countless emails from moms venting and sharing their breaking points through Momsweb. With permission, I'm sharing one I received yesterday. I'm sure it wasn't funny to this mother and daughter at the time, but she later laughed after she calmed down.  The email is long, but if you're honest with yourself, you may recall one of your "snap scenarios."

Good Morning,

Well, I could very well receive the most horrible mom of the year award for what happened last night between my sweet daughter and I. I lost it over a bug. A bug,  A BUG!

It all started when I was on the porch and received a text from her who was in the house. She was warning me to be careful when I came in because the kitchen floor was wet from her squirting an American Cockroach. I thanked her and added to just towel the floor dry, kill the roach and throw it away. Simple, right? Oh no....

About an hour later my head was pounding from a headache and I was feeling like ass.  I had to pee so I started down the hallway and my foot hit something so I looked down and lo and behold...a giant American Cockroach on its back. What happened next can be described as an over dramatized, hot freaking mess. Did I calmly ask her if this was the same roach? No. I knew it was the roach. So, I screamed a colorful array of words and told her to get her ass out of her room and come here.

"Is this the same roach you told me about?" Of course her answer was yes so I told her to get a shoe and kill the damn thing and throw it away. Oh. My. God! You think I told her to kill a giant poisonous spider or something. The tears started rolling and that just pissed me off even more. I screamed at her again to just kill it. Did she kill it? No. She stood there frozen in fear, but I had no mercy. I yelled that I'm tired of always having to kill these things and she needs to help. Then she referred to my fear of rodents--my temper escalated further whilst I hollered back that while it's true, I still have to kill them and dispose of corpses.

Finally, I told her one more time to get a shoe and finish the roach off. She just stood there bawling. I went out, came back and she had gotten a shoe, but she still was down the hall crying. I glared at her with all my motherly might and said very slowly, "Get your ass down the hall and kill that f---ing thing, NOW!" She just stood there and then screamed, "I'll do it, but stop staring at me!!!!" I left and sat on the couch.

After ten minutes, she was still whimpering, sucking up tears, trying to pep talk herself into doing it. By this time I was even angrier. I stomped over to the dying roach, angrily removed my shoe, smashed it, marched into the kitchen to grab a paper towel, headed back to the dead critter, wiped its remains off the floor, threw it away and then to the top of my lungs yelled, "There it is done! And I will not be your taxi anymore since you aren't ever going to help me in this area."

Needless to say, I went to the living room and my dear daughter went to her room in tears. I calmed down about half an hour later to apologize. I also wanted to listen to her and find out why she had such an awful time. She said it's because it's just us now for these kind of jobs and she used to be able to rely on her brother or dad for that dirty work.

Her brother has left for college and her father has left me. Yes, it’s just the two of us. It’s going to take time for both of us to get used to our bug-killers being gone. As long as I don't lose it over stupid and insignificant things anymore, hopefully that time will come sooner than later. I got this out and now feel better...Thanks, Momsweb for being there! I'm sure some perfect mother would have judged me!
 
 
Worry? Moms don't worry...we just own a level of concern that only a mother would understand.

Where's My Baby?


To the mothers of young children: Graduation day comes quickly, so embrace your precious moments with your babies, toddlers, and teens. Firstborn has graduated from high school, and it took a minute for me to accept that my baby will be going to college soon. Time flies and it just doesn't seem fair, but this is life. 
A joyous celebration indeed, but he will always be my baby. 

Peace in Simplicity


Simplicity is the key to womanhood.

If it takes up too much time, takes too much effort, and doesn't involve the family...maybe it should be scraped from your plate. Don't bite off more than you can chew.

A Mother's Love

A mother's love goes beyond the surface. A mother's love works beneath the radar. A mother's love is found where no other love can be found. A mother's love exceeds the imagination. A mother's love can not be replaced. A mother's love is from God. A mother's love is so powerful, it can make a dreary day bright!

When you feel like you've reached your breaking point, step back and breathe. Think about how important your love is to your children. Take time out to renew your mind and body. Recharge your SELF in order to continue pouring into the ones you love.

Is it that serious?


A MUST READ


by Author, Christy Elkins

Happy Momday!


Happy Momday!

We may have a challenging week ahead of us full of to-do lists and unexpected tasks, but try to find the good in all of it and have a great week!

WANTED: Housewives To Make Guest Appearance

The Real Housewives of Wherever have definitely made a mark in television land. They've been guests on several talk shows and have even made guest appearances on sitcoms. There is no need for the REAL housewives of America to be envious of these guest appearances because we make a few of our own appearances. Have you thought about it? Allow me to share a few of mine...

I make a guest appearance several times a day in my kitchen as I appear before a sink full of dirty dishes. The applause is the clanking of glasses and plates that have long awaited my appearance. Sometimes I get fancy and go into the boys' bathroom and pull back the shower curtain to give myself the Hollywood effect. My guest appearance is to the ring around the tub that the boys swore they cleaned. There is one more appearance that I don't care for as much because it involves traveling. When I walk outside the house, into the garage, I hear the snickering of socks as I make a guest appearance to the overflowing loads of laundry. The socks laugh because they hide from me. I guess this appearance is interactive, huh? I don't receive an applause, but I do get to smell the fresh scent of laundry detergent mixed with the foul odor of athletic socks. Eewwww...

 So you see, the REAL housewives makes guest appearances also, and if you ever get bored with your own guest appearances, you are more than welcomed to be my guest! There is much work to be done!

Helping Hand






 Firstborn is preparing for college, but I’m doing all the work - ALL the work. I don’t know if he thinks I’m his secretary or if he thinks I’m supposed to be doing everything, but I am. From finding scholarships, to financial aid forms, I’m doing it all. Well, he did take his own ACT test, so I have to give him credit for that. It’s a lot of work and although he has a college recruiting him for sports, it’s still a lot of behind the scenes work. 

Last night, I was trying to send his ACT score to another college and for some reason, after several attempts, I couldn’t get the online request to work. I asked Firstborn to try and he did – once. Really? I wanted to fuss, but instead the Lord fussed at me. He chastised me how many behind the scene acts He does for me. The Lord always has my back, and He always makes a way for me. Even when I don’t see Him working, He’s working things out, moving things around, and putting things in place for me. He even goes before me and prepares the path for my future. 

Yes, God went there with me. I felt bad as I looked at Firstborn on the floor texting – completely unaware of what was going on. My Heavenly Father takes such good care of me without reservation or hesitation. He leads me with a loving hand and a quiet voice, and corrects me with mercy. No, I’m not Jesus, but He told me to strive to be like Him. I help people all the time, so I need to remember my first ministry is in my home.  Firstborn will be gone soon, so I must do my part and help prepare His path. After all, God is still preparing mine! Help beings at home!

Monday Meditation


I’m so thankful it’s Spring Break...oh, so thankful! It may be a time for teachers and students to take a break, but I need one, too. No asking about or helping with homework, checking grades, emailing teachers, or cooking breakfast. I don’t care if the boys sleep until noon – I need a break. I stayed up all night last night trying to meet some writing deadlines, and this morning I wanted to jump right on my laptop and start writing again, but that very quiet voice got my attention. I may need a break from my routine, but I can’t afford to take a break from having intimate time with my God. 

Every morning, I awake extra early to establish my connection with my Power Source, so just because we’re on Spring Break is no excuse not to continue that meditation time. The boys also read scripture and pray every morning before they leave for school, so I can’t afford to let them get comfortable either. It’s so easy to forget about the One who gives us life to live our life. It’s so easy to forget about the One who gives us the ability to inhale and exhale while we run around busy and out of breath.

 I’m so happy I was reminded that Spring Break doesn’t mean a break from God. How about you? Did you establish your connection with your power source this morning, or did you jump right into your day without Him? It doesn’t matter if we’re on vacation or if we have a lot going on in our lives or not, we have no power unless we establish our connection. Even in the middle of the day, if I feel agitated or easily upset about little things, it’s a sign to check my connection because I have a tendency to get disconnected. I got my reminder this morning, so this is yours. Have a marvelous Monday and stay connected!

Make It Better




 Did I mention I had my nursing degree? I realized last night I have more than enough hours; and you probably do also! Add up the number of hours your husband and/or children have come to you with aches and pains and you nursed them. I’ve been a mother for seventeen years and a wife for nineteen, which gives me a total of thirty six years in adult and child health care. I’ll let you figure out the hours.

Yesterday, I dealt with knees, bones, toenails, and acne. From a pimple on the behind to pimples on the face, and from stomach aches to heartaches, I’m expected to make it better. The confidence my family has in me is amazing; they actually think I know what I’m doing. If they only knew that I completely depend on my own concoctions mixed with the Holy Spirit.

Although I often nurse my own aches and pains, there is a pain I’ve neglected for years - emotional pain. Past hurts and heartaches have kept my mind and heart in bondage until I recently cried out to God to make it better. My ability to hold on to stuff created a hold on me that Miss Flesh was enjoying. That stuff took up mental space and started to grow cob webs, which captured bits and pieces of bitterness and cluttered my mind. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I ran to the throne of mercy like my sons ran to me when they were little with their bruises and scratched up knees.

Women are emotional beings, but we don’t have to carry emotional baggage. God can make it better; I’m a witness. Just as this is a new Monday, God can give us a new emotional start and help us to live in today’s promises and not in the pains of the past. Run to God and cry out to Him. Expect Him to make it better like our family expects us to.

Have a marvelous Monday, nursemaids!

Random Thoughts About Real Housewives


  I've been thinking a lot lately about all the housewife reality shows and what makes them so popular. You don't even have to watch the show completely to get an idea of what it's about. The previews alone reveal the drama-filled content and the publicity the housewives get is amazing.

I conducted my own Google search to see just how many Real Housewives there were and this is what I came up with:

Real Housewives of Atlanta
Real Housewives of New Jersey
Real Housewives of New York
Real Housewives of Orange County
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Real Housewives of Miami
Real Housewives of DC plus more!

I'm not sure if these shows still air or not, but they came up in my search. I could have just typed the city they're from, but typing real housewives helped me to process the fabrication of these REAL housewives.

Soooo, what's the big deal and why are these so-called reality housewives so popular and what's real about them? They certainly don't depict the average housewife and they most definitely don't depict the middle income housewife! Stilettos all day? Really?  Well, maybe it's their reality, but for the housewives I know, they display a reality that doesn't exist in the real world. Hmmm...maybe I should revisit the definition of reality.

 
Are the reality housewives mocking one of the most needed and underrated roles in America or are producers searching for ratings while giving no regard to the position of women who are called to nurture and care for the family entrusted in her care? These are just a few thoughts roaming in my head....

To be continued....

Love My Job!

There is no better feeling than waking up and loving what you do. There's not a better job than that of... 
THE MOTHER!

The REAL housewives


The Real Housewives of reality television vs the REAL housewives of America....

Stay tuned....

In Good Hands


I call Firstborn’s female friend a sweet distraction because that is exactly what she is – she’s as sweet as pie, yet she is definitely a distraction for his sports-filled life and with graduation on the horizon.  We traveled out of town this weekend and she traveled with us; her mother knew she was in good hands. Having two teenagers of the opposite sex in my care was no joke. I watched sweet distraction like a hawk. We even slept in the same room together and I kept waking up to make sure she was in the bed across from me and not tipping out to meet Firstborn. 


Teenagers are very creative, so I had my spy antennas on the entire weekend and was cautious of their every move – more than I am with my own children. I assured sweet distraction’s mother that her daughter was in good hands, and I kept my word. Even while the two were sitting watching television, I kept eyeing them and making sure they didn’t get “too comfortable.” Well, the weekend is over and sweet distraction is back in the care of her mother – safe and sound.   

My weekend reminded me of how God watches over me – even when I sleep. Talk about being in good hands! I’m not talking about Allstate insurance either; I’m talking about an almighty, all-knowing God watching every move I make and ensuring my every step is secure. He goes before me and prepares my path. He even tells me to follow Him to prevent making the wrong moves. He never takes his eyes off of me, He never sleeps, and He definitely doesn’t get tired of watching me as I grew weary of watching the love birds. Today is a new Monday, and although we don’t know what’s ahead of us, we know we’re all in… GOOD HANDS!

It's Giveaway Month!


It's GIVEAWAY month on the Momsweb Facebook page!

Like the page for a chance to win FREE copies of We Snap in Silence





Oh My God!


Firstborn has never been a party-goer, but last night he and a couple of his basketball teammates went to a party thrown by another teammate. Firstborn and I prayed before he was picked up; we didn’t allow him to drive. I also reminded him about his “no” to drugs and alcohol. He left, and I was at peace. I was the designated after-party, pick up parent and was led to leave the house an hour early. I found a great parking spot right on the corner in eye’s view of the building. Not even two minutes later, I heard what I thought to be gunshots and people were running away from the party and in the streets, but shortly they began to return.  Okay, maybe those weren’t real gunshots. I then heard more gunshots – I know what I heard. 

Before I knew it, the entire block was covered with young people running with fear on their faces, cars screeching off, cell phones lighting up, and soon the police showed up with lights flashing. All I could think about was my child and before I knew it, I yelled, “What the f…!” I looked around in disbelief that I was in the middle of gunfire. I sat in my car paralyzed with confusion. Is this really happening? With my heart beating fast, I selfishly prayed that my son and his teammates would find the car in the midst of the confusion and uncontrolled crowd. It seemed like forever, but the three of them were finally walking towards the car – thank you, Jesus! 

When they got in the car, I exhaled with great relief, and got the heck out of the area. It was silent for a few seconds and then we all began to talk. Never in my life have I experienced anything like that. I asked if anyone prayed and one young man said he did. Firstborn said, “All I could say was, oh my God.” Firstborn’s first response was much better than mine! 

Mothers, if you don’t already cover your children in prayer, please start, and more importantly, teach them to cover themselves. We don’t always know where they are or who they are surrounded by, but God’s merciful hands of protection will always surround them – it’s their covering! Last night, Firstborn met the Protector up close and personal; things could have been a lot worse. Life lesson? Pray, mothers…pray.

I Hate to Cook!



 I will be the first to admit - I hate to cook. I don't dislike it, I hate it, but having three men in the house doesn't cut me any slack, so I cook a full meal (by the grace of God) Monday through Thursday and sometimes on Friday. I take weekends off because everyone else in the house is off on weekends. I don't want my family to feel guilty about seeing me in the kitchen while they chill all weekend, so I joined them and gave myself a few days off also. You should try it!


The boys don't have a problem eating sandwiches or leftovers and I don't have a problem watching them eat sandwiches either. Hubby will open and close cabinets thinking I'll eventually come in the kitchen and cook him something, but after he's opened every cabinet in the kitchen with no signs of my face in the place, he amazingly puts together a plate of food!

Well, today is Valentine's Day and I believe I've been bit by the love bug or something because I'M COOKING A SPECIAL MEAL! I can hardly believe it myself and I'm actually excited about it! Cupid must be real because this is not normal for me; I've been shot by the arrow of amour.  What? Oh, you want to know what I'm cooking? Oh, okay. (smile)

 Lemon Sweet Tea

Spinach Salad with raisins and diced apples, drizzled with warm Vinaigrette Dressing

Spicy Ziti Pasta with Turkey Kielbasa Sausage topped with Parmesan and Mozzarella cheese.

Garlic and Cheese Bread Bites

Ice Cream Brownie Sundae with warm strawberry sauce (made from fresh strawberries)

Sounds fancy, doesn't it?  It's really just pasta, garlic bread, and brownies and ice cream for dessert, but I learned from the cooking channel that it's all about the presentation!

I believe my family will be pleased and I pray I recover from this love bug real soon! I'm supposed to be allergic to the kitchen!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Home Inauguration





 Any man or woman has got to really love the job of president to look forward to a second term. Hard work, long hours, and little appreciation aren’t things the average bear would look forward to. As I thought about the inauguration, I wondered if the president is as full of drive, passion, and determination as he was four years ago. I then thought about my position in my home. Am I full of the same drive, passion, and determination that I had when I first said “I do” and when my little bundles of joy were first placed in my arms? Do I have the same zeal or have I become weary? Women may not get the pomp and circumstance or the big celebrations as the presidential inauguration does, but our role definitely deserves celebration and recognition. Oftentimes, I get so busy fulfilling my roles that I forget how fulfilling my roles are to me. I’ve let circumstances steal my joy instead of counting it all joy. I’ve focused on what was wrong instead of finding the good. A home inauguration can serve as a renewal of the passion I may have lost in the roles I have in my home and a reminder of the most providential and influential job ever – that of being a mother.  Whether we work inside or outside the home, we are all homemakers and we may not have been appointed, but we’re definitely anointed for our positions. Today is a good day to step back and take a look at what we’ve done in the past and what we can improve on as wives, and mothers. Instead of concentrating on the white house, let’s reflect on the dynamics of our own house! I’m having a home inauguration today. Congratulations, President Obama. You’ve got some hard work ahead, yet so do I. 

Letter of Appreciation

Our children want to appreciate us, but they really don't know how. As they grow older the appreciation begins to settle, but when they have their own children, the appreciation goes through the roof!


Don't Mess With Mama Bear!

It's difficult to explain what a mother feels when her child has been mistreated, abused, or even ignored. A fighting instinct surfaces that is sometimes hard to control. I often use the term, Mama Bear, because it perfectly describes how mothers protect their cubs; they will KILL before they allow their cub to be harmed.



For the past few months, anger has stirred within me and I knew I needed to channel that negative energy into something positive in order to move on with my life and bury the bitterness. Firstborn was wrongly accused and kicked off his football team, and finding the good in that was more than difficult, but I was eventually led to speak up and out for not only Firstborn for all youth in athletics.

I now have more peace of mind regarding this situation, which is a sign that I'm doing the right thing. I had to take a stand before I fell into a pit of pity, revenge, and hate. Yes, I was that angry! Don't mess with my children!

Please visit the site I created to share awareness of mistreatment in sports. It's titled, Your Loss


Invasion



The Pneumonia, the flu, and a few other nasty viruses seem to be lingering around this season looking for weak immune systems to invade. With the exception of Secondborn, the rest of the family has escaped the contagious bug; however, this weekend I began to feel a little achy.  I rarely catch a virus, so I immediately increased my prevention measures by consuming more of my mixture of beet, tomato, and kale drink, my vitamin shake, and a few other powerful nutrients. I refused to give the nasty bug access to my body. Plenty of rest was also a part of my prevention, so I retreated back to bed as often as I could. Rest is a powerful weapon! While fighting the persistent bug, I realized prevention measures are necessary for my physical body as well as my spiritual body; they both require protection from outside elements. 

My spiritual body is capable of submitting to bugs also, but when I boost my spiritual warfare defenses, I’m not knocked off my feet in defeat and frustration. Praying without ceasing and putting my armor on early instead of waiting until I’m in the midst of battle prepares me for warfare. This morning, I am achy free; yet I can’t afford to stop pouring the extra nutrients into my body. The bug is lingering and waiting to catch me off guard. The adversary, aka Miss Flesh, is also waiting to invade my body through any avenue possible; there is always a trap set. The adversary stays on the lookout for unprepared bodies to dwell in just as those nasty virus bugs do.  How we prepare for the day reflects on the outcome of our day. Do you have your defenses up? Have you made preparations for possible invasion of the bugs? If not, boost up for battle and have a marvelous day!

reNEW YOU!



It's a new day and a new year...
don't forget to renew YOU!

Change Your Clothes!

New Year's Day, I made a point to not say anything ugly or negative to hubby. I wanted the first day of the year to be free from my jokes and criticism. Well, I failed. I looked at hubby and he had on his favorite work sweats. They weren't just an ordinary pair of sweats. These sweats were old as dirt and had chlorine spots all over them. They use to be gray, but they have been washed so many times, the color was gone. The sweats were an eyesore and I really didn't want to look at them all day.

I looked a little lower and noticed hubby's black socks had a beige heel. Wait a minute! That's not a beige heel, that's hubby's skin! The socks, both socks, had huge holes in the heels. Nooo way, I can't keep my mouth shut, I've got to say something. I refuse to look at this on the first day of the year - maybe tomorrow, but definitely not today.

I apologized in advance, but I had to be honest. "Uh, do you plan on wearing that all day?" He mentioned he planned to work on the car.  It looked like it was going to rain, so he was going to wait a while before he started working on the car. I apologized again, but I had to tell him there was no way I could look at what he was wearing on New Year's Day - I just couldn't.  I said it as nicely as I could with a smile. Hubby proceeded to justify the sweats, but I wasn't hearing it. He walked away and I wondered if I should have just kept my mouth shut. I'm not one to hold my tongue, and convinced myself that I didn't say anything out of line.

Hubby came back and looked like a different person. He had on a nice shirt and another pair of sweats and socks with no holes! HALLELUJAH! He looked so handsome and I was sooo thankful. He stood in front of me and asked, "Is this appropriate?"

I gave him a big smile and said, "YES! God bless you!" I was so relieved. If it's New Year's Day, why wear old, torn, dead looking clothes? I know hubby wanted to be comfortable, but my God! Give me a break! I didn't ask for much...just a better view of my husband to start the New Year off right. Tomorrow you can go back to normal and wear his old, chlorine spotted sweats. Thanks, hubby!