I had seventeen years with Firstborn before he left for college, and cutting the apron strings is, by far, the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Sometimes when I think about Firstborn, I get a big lump in my throat. I don’t care if he is less than three hours away, or that he’s surrounded by family, or on a Christian campus, or having the time of his life being away from home. Firstborn is out of the house – away from me. I know time will help me move on, but a conversation I had with another mother yesterday didn’t help.
This mother shared some upsetting news about her sweet, college son and hearing it brought tears to my eyes. Of course, I thought about Firstborn. It only takes a second for children to take a detour on their life’s journey, and what can a mom do? Nothing except pray. I thought about this mother’s son all day yesterday and last night. With each thought, I prayed for him. I know his mother has done everything to raise him, love him, nurture him, discipline him, mold him, correct him, shelter him, teach him, and sometimes even save him. She, without a doubt, did her part. I’ve done my part also, so the only thing left to do is to keep them covered in prayer. I’ve stepped up my prayers in a way I never thought I could.
Firstborn’s life is out of my hands. His life should have never been in my hands, but you know what I mean. I have to trust my training and leave Firstborn where he belongs – in his Heavenly Father’s hands. I was a sweet, quiet girl growing up, but when I left home, I made some unbelievable, dreadful choices.
Let’s just say I thank God for my mother’s fervent prayers.