I Feel a Stirring

Yesterday, I watched my sons and several other boys play basketball in the driveway. I not only watched the intense games, but I noticed how each boy had grown up over the years. While in the Navy, I was used to moving every two or three years, but I’ve been in this city for over ten years. I’m grateful Firstborn and Secondborn had the opportunity to develop life-long friends and relationships. I’ve enjoyed it also, but it’s time to go. My spirit is stirring for a different view.

This same stirring of my spirit occurred about three years before I was supposed to retire. I knew I was being prepared to go in a different direction in my life. Now, two years before Secondborn graduates from high school, the stirring of the spirit is back. I’m being prepared to move into another direction. For a while, I’ve been talking to my husband and sons about moving to the mountains. I want to move to a place where nobody knows my name, and experience waking up to the nakedness of nature and all its beauty. I don’t know how long I’ll stay, but I definitely want to experience it – alone.

I’ve cooked, cleaned, washed, disciplined, home schooled, cheered, transported, nursed, sexed, helped, served and sacrificed, and now it’s time to play the ‘me’ card, and head to the mountains. I don’t want to be like a woman I spoke with this weekend, who is just realizing, in her sixties, that she needs to take care of herself. Hmph, it’s time to go! Sound selfish? Well, it’s time to be selfish and take care of my temple. I’ve poured out for my family, unselfishly, for almost twenty years.

 I don’t know about you, but the ‘me’ card is looking pretty good. A different view invites a different me. I welcome the stirring.

Bookmark and Share