Mom's Peace Bites

Overprotective Mom or Just Crazy?

2012-01-31T11:11:00.001-06:00

Secondborn about to board the school bus and mama taking pics from the car!

I read a post this morning, which was written a while ago, but it's so on time for so many mothers. The post also reminded me of myself and made me feel NORMAL.

Firstborn attends school out of district, so every morning, I drive him to school. I love this time with him even when he doesn't feel like talking. On the other hand, Secondborn, rides the big yellow wagon. When he first started seventh grade, after being homeschooled, I would drive him to the bus stop and sit in the car until the bus came. I didn't notice any other parents around. Hmmm...how do the parents know their child is actually getting on the bus? Was I overacting? I eventually stopped and let Secondborn walk to the bus stop. It was very difficult for me at first. I had to remind myself that children all across America ride the school bus and before they get on the bus, they must wait for the bus AT THE BUS STOP! My goodness! I rode the school bus to school for years! What was my problem? Anyway, I read the below post, and like I said, I felt NORMAL!

It's so important for mothers to share their trials and triumphs in motherhood in order to help another mother.

Read Jackie's blog post here

Don't Act Ignorant!

2012-01-30T07:32:00.000-06:00

Sunday morning, the title of my devotion was “How Could Someone Be So Ignorant?” It basically talked about how we ignorantly serve Jesus by doing what we think we should do and not allowing His Spirit to lead us. It mentioned we should serve according to the love chapter, Corinthians 13. I’ve read that chapter several times before, but read it again. After I finished, I walked down the hallway to wake the boys up.

Firstborn wasn’t in his bed, so I woke Secondborn up and then went to the spare room to find Firstborn stretched out on the floor. After I noticed Firstborn, I noticed the empty candy box, cup, headphones, paper, game controllers, and a few other items surrounding him. I just stood for a minute dumbfounded because I thoroughly cleaned the room up the day before. I woke Firstborn up and went back to check on Secondborn. He was sitting on his bed. I asked him what he was doing and he said, “Sitting down.” I stared at him dumbfounded and he stared back without moving. I wondered why he wasn’t getting ready for church.

Miss Flesh was getting a little agitated. Instead of saying a word to them, I went to sit down myself. I thought about the love chapter I read not even five minutes ago and prayed. Help me to show love, Lord. Help me to control my tone of voice. Help me to be Christ controlled and not Miss Flesh controlled. I walked back into their room and Secondborn was dressed. Thank you! Firstborn was up also, but left his mess in the room. I calmly said, “Please pick your mess up because I spent time cleaning that room up yesterday.” After he picked his mess up, I thanked him. Wow, that was easy! And to think, I wanted to fuss and activate ugly, early morning attitudes. How could I be so ignorant? Lord, help me show love and serve You in love in all situations.

Get Up!

2012-01-23T05:54:00.001-06:00

Hubby and I went for a two mile walk Saturday evening, yet Sundayevening I struggled getting off the sofa. I sat on my behind and watched twofootball games back to back. I could have exercised while watching the games,but instead, I sat, and sat, and sat. I was exercising in my mind, but my bodywasn’t moving; it was stuck to the sofa. My mind was yelling at my body, Get up, LaVender! Get up!

While I recovered from surgery, I experienceda serious craving for exercise. I couldn’t wait to get back on my feet. It’sone thing to not be able to exercise,but it’s another thing when you’re able and choose not to exercise. Choosingnot to care for my temple is like taking my health for granted. It’s way tooeasy to be complacent when it comes to exercise, but as soon as we’re diagnosedwith some illness or disease, we’re aggressive in our prayers for healing anddeliverance. I eventually got up and exercised and even danced a little (myfavorite exercise). I have to do my part. I have to love mytemple enough to give it the rest, nutrition, and exercise it deserves. I haveto show God how thankful I am for Him keeping me and sustaining my health. Whilethe blood is flowing warm through my veins, I need to move something –anything. Whether I walk, jog, dance, stretch, take the steps, or have astrenuous aerobic exercise, I need to get up!

With the chemical imbalances andhorror of hormones women deal with, exercise should be a priority. Exercise notonly helps our physical body, but our mental health benefits greatly! Exerciseinvites peace of mind, and we all know a woman, wife, and mother needs herpeace of mind, so let’s get up! Get up!

One Life!

2012-01-16T05:45:00.000-06:00

I watched The Andy Griffith Show last night and smiled as Iwatched Ron Howard play his character, Opie Taylor. Opie is a grown man now andactually, he’s older than I am. It seems like little Opie grew up right beforemy eyes. Life is long, but at the same time, life is short.

I think about myown life and it seems like yesterday I was Firstborn’s age. What happened tothe years? They go by so fast and the older I get, the faster they fly.Unbelievable! I’m not as concerned about my life flying by as I am about mylife being full. If it makes any sense, I want my life to be full of life. Iwant to grasp every waking moment and live my life with no regrets. I want myjoy to be unspeakable and my peace to surpass all understanding. I want laughterto be my medicine. I want to take advantage of every opportunity. I want tolearn to be comfortable outside of my comfort zone. I want to experience God onnew levels and be aware of every breath I take. I don’t want to die withunwritten books in me, nor do I want to die with love I refused to share. Life!I only have one. The choices I make and the bad habits I refuse to break willeventually take a toll on my one life. My character and the company I keep willreveal many things about my one life.

My life is a gift given to me by God…to livein abundance…a life full of life! My life should make a difference. My lifeshould make an impact. My life should be lived on purpose. My life should befull of life! I have many days ahead of me, but I only have one life. What doyou plan to do with your life? You only have one!

His Heart Was Stolen!

2012-01-10T20:16:00.000-06:00

This is Firstborn....and his girlfriend. This is my baby...my first child. I'm having a difficult time watching him grow up. Actually, I'm the one that needs to grow up, huh? Oh well, say what you want to...I can only be honest about my feelings.

When did this happen? He's only 16 years old - he JUST turned sixteen last month. I swear I just changed his diaper! Well, it seems like it! Sixteen. I guess it's time for him to start thinking about girls, huh? Well, what about me? Can't he think about his mama? Sigh....

The girl? Well, she is cute as a button, smart as a whip, and she loves Firstborn. Sigh...He knew (she probably did also) I didn't care for the girlfriend word one bit. I didn't care for the word or her - I didn't really know her and didn't want to. I purposely avoided her. Yes, I acted like a child. And? It didn't seem like she was going anywhere, so I quickly realized I needed to put away the mean mama hat and show some love to Firstborn's heart. Sigh...it wasn't easy. It took prayer and I had to dig deep - reeeeeeeaaally deep. This is my baaaaaby!

I finally officially met her and her mother, which made me feel a whole lot better. And guess what? See the gift bag in the left hand corner? It was her birthday, so I helped Firstborn put something nice together for her. I must admit...I had fun helping him. She's a sweet girl, so if my son's heart has been stolen, I better keep the thief close, right?

For all you mothers of toddlers.....THEY GROW UP! Did you hear me? THEY GROW UP!

Bold by Design

2012-01-09T00:13:00.000-06:00

For the past week, the story of the woman with the issue ofblood has been heavy on my mind. At midnight last night, I was still thinkingabout her. It wasn’t her faith that moved me, but her determination andperseverance to not give up. After bleeding for twelve years, she had to sufferfrom extreme fatigue. She had to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. Shewasn’t allowed to be in public; she was considered unclean, but she wentagainst all rules and did what was necessary - regardless of the consequences.She took a chance and went out in public. She wanted to get close enough toJesus to touch only the hem of His garment. She was bold and Jesus acknowledgedher, blessed her, and healed her. I wantto be like that woman – bold. Something within her wouldn’t let her stay homethat day. She had to move. She had courage. She had tried everything, yet keptpressing forward.

A struggling marriage, failing finances, difficultrelationships, fluctuating weight, or even a challenging child are reasons to throwin the towel, but having a boldness to press on and persevere will bring aboutchange! This woman followed her gut - her intuition - her spirit. What an exampleof a strong, bold woman! Sometimes, God will lead us to do things, which may makeno sense to anyone else. Sometimes we may have to stand alone and go againstthe grain. Sometimes we need to forget about people and consider God’s plan andpurpose for our life. Sometimes we just need to be BOLD in Jesus! I’m so happythis story is about a woman. We have anextra ounce of grace and power within us to press forward – regardless ofconsequences and circumstances. We maybe pressed on all sides, but we press on! We are bold by design!

Video is 6 minutes and well worth it!

Young and Creative Teenager

2012-01-06T06:24:00.001-06:00

You can visit her blog at Dovetree.blogspot.comShe's a young teenager and did this ALL. BY. HERSELF.

The Study Of...

2012-01-04T21:50:00.001-06:00

I could hardly wait to finish my shower and plop onto mycorner of the sofa tonight. I enrolledin a course today and was excited about studying. This is the first course I’ve ever experiencedso much joy and satisfaction! I’m grateful for a dear friend who came by todayto share the course with me. She obviously knows me quite well because thiscourse is right up my alley. I can’t understand why it took me so long toenroll, but this particular course is not one I would have ever initiated on myown. My full attention has been captured. To tell you the truth, I’m completelyabsorbed and captivated by this course. Now, it’s time to share the coursetitle with you. Please don’t judge me, but this is a subject I’ve secretlyenjoyed for a while. The title is….Snuggiology. Yes, my dear friend brought mea beautiful Snuggie today with peace symbols all over it. Snuggiology is thestudy of the Snuggie with a course objective to teach one the various uses andbenefits of the Snuggie. Hubbbythreatened to shoot my dear friend because he knows I’ll be spending quite abit of time in the evenings studying. This course isn’t any different from other courses…they all require dedicatedtime, energy, and a peaceful environment for learning. Don't disturb!

What's That Smell?

2012-01-03T19:12:00.002-06:00

If I had to do without any of my five senses, it would bethe sense of smell. I’ve mastered living without it for almost two years and realizedI can function quite well with only four working senses. Recently, while in my parent’s kitchen, I gota whiff of something. What’s that smell? It was Clorox in the dish water. Wow! Whata nice welcome back into the world of odorants. A few minutes later, whilepreparing my oatmeal, I smelled the brown sugar and cinnamon I sprinkled on top. Mmm…what a delightful smell. Still in the kitchen,I smelled something very familiar. What’s that smell? Oh my goodness! Is thatMama’s homemade peach cobbler with the thick, buttery crust? Heavenly! Thankyou, Lord; I can smell again! I enjoyed smelling several other scents and thensomething very unusual happened. My two sons walked through the door andbrushed by me. What’s that smell? Sniff…sniff….I felt like a dog trying tosniff out the object arresting my attention, but I couldn’t place the scent. OH! I know what that smell is! It was thesmell that reminded me exactly why I didn’t miss my sense of smell for almost twoyears. The smell knocked every sleeping sensory cell of my nasal cavity rightback into full function. It was that dense, warm, musty, boy smell. You know,the smell young boys get when they’ve played outside all day long, only theseboys were no longer young toddlers, but full blown teenagers. Multiply thatmusty scent by ten or more! Hey, I’m not complaining…I gotta take the good withthe bad…the sweet with the stinky…the pleasurable smells with thefunky smells.

It’s all good – I think.

I'm So Happy!

2012-01-02T07:09:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was my first day home since before Christmas. I was happy to get back on the road to my routine and recovery! I finally had my sinusitis surgery and although my surgeon mentioned I have a chronic disease, I was happy! My eyesight has improved, my sense of smell is returning, my energy level has sky rocketed, and I feel so good! I’m happy! For my religious friends not feeling comfortable with the word, happy, I do know the difference between circumstantial happiness, joy, and being blessed. Yes, the joy of the Lord is my strength! Yes, I’m beyond blessed! Yes, God is the source of my joy, and…. I’m happy! The Bible mentions the word, happy, in several scriptures in various versions of the Bible. It’s okay to be happy, and yesterday I was so happy while hubby drove home. The boys were in the back seat sleeping and snoring and I was having happy thoughts of my sisters and parents and the time we spent together. Although this isn’t the end of my health issue, I felt like I could have danced the entire trip home. I felt like Happy Feet, the movie!

I remember sharing a moment in church with my mother many years ago. I can’t remember what holiday it was, but it was a small crowd sharing testimonies. One elderly woman stood up and began sharing her life. She suddenly raised her hands and began twirling around and around with her eyes shut, her slip showing, and her head in the air saying, “I’m so happy, I’m so happy, I’m so happy!” Mama and I still imitate this woman in our happy moments and today, I share with you…I’m so happy! It’s okay to be happy and express it!

After all, if you’ve got the nerve to wish someone a Happy New Year, you should first be happy yourself!

Meeting the Porcelain

2011-12-31T17:15:00.003-06:00

I thought I'd share one of the most humbling experiences I endured in 2011. It wasn't a difficult relationship, financial woes, or my health issues, but it was the call of the big porcelain container - a public toilet.

I probably have some of the strongest thigh muscles among women. I NEVER sit on public toilets - NEVER! I stoop with complete control from many years of experience. If my call to the porcelain container calls for more serious relief, I'll wait until I get home.

Weeell, during a short stay in the hospital, I had to use the restroom. I was just rolled into my room straight out of surgery and I had to go - badly. I felt strong enough to hold onto my IV roller and meet the porcelain container on my own, but the nurse refused. She helped me in the bathroom and she told me to take it easy and sit slowly.

Me: "Oh, I'm not going to sit down, I'm going to stoop."

Nurse: "No, you need to sit down!"

Me: "No really, I'm okay."

Nurse: "You really need to sit down, and we need to catch and measure your urine."

Me: Experiencing overwhelming anxiety - "Is it clean?"

Nurse: Shocked that I would ask - "YES!"

I hesitated and slowly allowed my bare behind to meet the porcelain. I can't remember the last time I did this, but I was humbled and quite concerned about the germs attaching themselves to me. GROSS! Oh my God, help me! Auuuuugh! GROSS! Why must I endure this! This isn't happening! Heeeeeelp!!!

I finished my business, washed my hands thoroughly, and came out of the bathroom - pissed, yet relieved. I told my mother, my sister, my husband, and my two sons who later came into my room and I cried out...."She made me sit on the toilet! I'll never forget her! She made me sit on the toilet!" Of course I had to use the bathroom every hour thereafter, so I had to meet the porcelain on a regular basis. Good grief! It was a challenge, but I did it. I survived! I'm still here and if you're wondering if I'll start meeting the porcelain on a regular basis, I must be honest and tell the truth....ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WILL CONTINUE TO STOOP!

Not the actual toilet; this is a copyrighted Internet picture

2012?

2011-12-30T12:38:00.000-06:00

Hubby and I were talking and he said, " I wonder what 2012 will bring." I didn't answer because I didn't want to disturb his train of thought. I really don't care what 2012 brings. I'm doing all I can to focus on living my life to the fullest today - tomorrow will take care of itself. If you don't believe this, look back over 2011 and all you've been through. Look back over your life. Hey, you're still standing! Whether you're standing on one leg and barely holding up or standing strong as a tree, you're standing!

It's natural to hope for better days. The economy remains rocky. Those difficult people in our life are still hanging around. The bills continue to come, and as parents, we want better for our children. In spite of all our circumstances, we have to live our life to the fullest day by day. My assurance of the future is sealed with God's promise to never leave me or forsake me. He promised! God said I was more than a conqueror; I can do this! God also said all things work together for my good, so it doesn't matter what the situation looks like, what matters are God's promises to me.

Whenever I begin to wonder about the future, I change my mental channel to the One who is in charge of the future - Almighty God. It doesn't matter what 2012 holds, I know who holds my future. God has a strategic plan for my life. My job is to stay connected to Him, to abide with Him, to trust Him, and to believe in His promises.

This may be the last meditation of 2011, but it sure isn't the last of God's promises and mercies to me. Morning by morning new mercies I see - today, tomorrow, and the next year too! What will be, will be! 2012? Bring it on!

My Christmas Yes

2011-12-19T07:27:00.001-06:00

I attended a charity event last night and several poets were on the program. One poet in particular shared a Christmas poem. He mentioned the poem was about the one person He thinks about during this season – his mother. I wasn’t expecting the poet to say his mother, but there is one mother every mother should consider during the Christmas season. The mother of all mothers is Mary, the mother of the baby boy who changed the world. When Mary was visited by the angel, she questioned God’s will for her life. Mary didn’t understand God’s unusual plan, but eventually went with the flow in spite of her reputation with friends, family, and her relationship with Joseph. Mary is an awesome example of submitting to God’s will even when it makes absolutely no sense to us. Mary gave God her yes.

During this season of giving, I’m reminded, by this special mother, to give God my yes. I’m giving my yes to God’s plan for my life. I’m giving my yes to God’s will for my marriage, my sons, my career, my temple, my health, my finances, and every other area of my life. I may not understand or agree with God, but Mary didn’t either. I may question God, but so did Mary. I may even entertain a little fear, and I’m sure Mary did also before she decided to trust God and let Him have His way with her. What an awesome gift Mary gave God – her yes.

This Christmas is different for me because of my new perspective. This is a time to rededicate my commitment to God by following Mary’s example and giving God my yes. There is no gift we can give God that compares to the gift He gave us – the gift of life, so why not re-gift His gift by giving God what He wants more than anything – a yes to His will and His way in and through the life He gave us.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-16T17:36:00.003-06:00

Rest!

2011-12-12T07:02:00.002-06:00

I haven’t used an alarm clock in over ten years and awake between 4:30 and 5:00 most mornings. I was shocked when I awoke Sunday morning after 11 o’clock. I can’t remember the last time I slept that late without being disturbed. After realizing I still had my bodily functions and was mentally okay, I noticed something else that surprised me. I felt very different. I felt younger. My mind was clearer. I was at complete peace.

As I sat down to enjoy a bowl of oatmeal with raisins, I was reminded why I felt so differently. I got some rest! My mind and body was renewed and rejuvenated. I’ve always been a believer of getting the proper rest, and now I know that I know…rest is a secret weapon to living life to the fullest. Rest is the secret to dealing with the battles and bumps of life. Mentally, spiritually, and emotionally…rest is the answer. I’m not the only one saying this, Jesus said it too! If He said it, it’s got to be true!

As I basked in my newness, I considered the benefits of spiritual rest in Jesus. Resting in Jesus would give me more mental space and energy. If I cast my cares on Him like He told me to, I would have more mental space to enjoy the abundant life, unspeakable joy, and perfect peace God promised me. Rest! I know what the busy woman reading this is saying…”When do I have time to rest?” Well, you either make time to rest or end up resting in a hospital bed or six feet under because you’ve run yourself in the ground – literally. Oops! Did I go there? Maybe I got too much rest!

Find the GoOD in it

2011-12-05T09:23:00.001-06:00

I have a friend who needs a kidney transplant, one who needs a heart transplant, one who recently found out her nervous system is out of whack, and one going through radiation treatments. These health issues are far more serious than the recent diagnosis of my severe nasal infection requiring surgery. My health issue doesn’t compare to waiting on an organ or another chance at life. Regardless of my many symptoms and discomfort, someone would love to swap health concerns with me. I try to remember things could always be worse – regardless of my circumstances. In every aspect of my life, I attempt to see not only the good in it, but I pray to see God in it. Self-centered may be my nature, but Christ-centered is my calling. Having a pity party may be my desire, yet prayer and praise is His will. Of course, I could ask for immediate healing, but going through this health storm will increase my faith, trust, and intimacy with my Heavenly Father, not to mention the wisdom and knowledge I’ll gain.

Getting to know God on a higher level calls for a storm on a higher level. My storm is here. Have your way, Lord! My peace comes from knowing God is with me and knows what is best for me. I’m also reminded this situation is not all about me. My sons’ prayer life will strengthen as they watch mama go through this health storm. Hubby will also be touched as well as others walking through this storm with me. Who knows, you may be touched! Have your way, Lord! Hey, one good thing about this is I have a lot more writing material coming my way! Talk about finding the good! What are you going through today? What’s your financial, family, health, marriage, or career issue? Things could be worse! Ask God to help you see the good and the God in it, then watch your perspective change.

The Hype

2011-11-28T13:27:00.001-06:00

While grocery shopping this weekend, I saw a woman with four little girls. The little girls were chatty and full of energy, yet the woman was quiet and her face was full of frustration and fatigue. As I walked out of the store, I saw her sitting and immediately said a prayer for her. I wondered how many times I looked like that woman without being aware of it - you never know who is watching you.

The holiday season is here and there will be more than a few faces of frustration and fatigue. I refuse to be one of them. The holidays are supposed to be full of joy, peace, and love - at least that's what the greeting cards say! It's so easy to get caught in the hype of shopping, grumbling, and having no peace of mind. One good thing about getting caught in the hype is the stress. The stress can be used to remind me to place my focus back on the joyous reason for the season. The stress can remind me to check myself, my spending, and event planning. The stress can remind me of what's important. I will remember that I create my own stress. If I become frustrated and fatigued, it's my fault. I don't want to be Santa Claus making my list and checking it twice. I want to be like a child full of joy and anticipation for the big celebration instead of being full of anxiety and dreading the occasion. Yuck! It takes being in tune to God's Spirit to create an atmosphere of joy, peace, and love in the home - anytime of the year. The atmosphere in my home is a reflection of God's peace in my heart. I want His peace not only during the holiday season, but every day of the year. The hype will pass away, but the joyous reason for the season lingers throughout the year.

Blue Plate Special

2011-11-23T12:28:00.001-06:00

Firstborn had the blue plate special yesterday morning for breakfast. Not the blue plate special you’re familiar with, but we have a large, beautiful, blue plate used only for special occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries, or anything the family deems worthy of recognition. Firstborn was the recipient of the blue plate yesterday; we celebrated his birthday. His meal was served on the special, blue plate, which is engraved with the words ‘cherish the moment’ on it. Although it was Firstborn’s special day, the words spoke to me. My first product of pleasure was born sixteen years ago and I didn’t think I would be able to handle it well. A few weeks ago, I had to call my younger sister to help me through a sobbing moment as I thought about Firstborn turning sixteen. My baaaaby is growing up! I figured if I cried early, I’d be okay on his birthday, which is today.

As I handed Firstborn the blue plate, I realized I needed to cherish the moment rather than focusing on years gone by. That very moment was a moment to cherish. Every moment with my two sons is a precious moment to cherish. I can miss out on these moments by focusing on the past. It’s okay to look at baby pictures and remember their toddler times, but I was taking it to another level - I wanted to stop time. Motherhood is my greatest joy and watching my sons grow up is bittersweet, if that makes any sense. Firstborn may not need me as he did in younger years, but as a teenager; he needs me in another way. I’m okay! I’m still Mama and will always be. I’m learning to cherish the moments as they quickly pass by without trying to hold on to them. Each season of motherhood brings new beginnings, new issues, new tests, and new moments to cherish.

Cherish the moment and enjoy this day of mothering!

2011-11-17T10:29:00.001-06:00

My latest release!

Click here to read more.

Giveaway Coming Soon!

2011-11-16T10:06:00.001-06:00

I usually don't offer giveaways, but I was impressed with the concept of digital scrapbooking, so I'm hosting a giveaway, but first....

I 'm trying it out for myself!

My Memories Scrapbooking

Check back for my creation and the contest for FREE software, but until then, I'm offering a $10 off coupon to you!

Look to the right to redeem your coupon and code.

Are You Covered?

2011-11-16T09:48:00.001-06:00

Firstborn had his last football game Thursday and had to be at basketball practice at 6 a.m. this morning. I was pleasantly surprised to see him awake without my prompting. He plugged in the iron and I immediately questioned why he didn’t get his clothes ready the night before. Just as soon as those words came out of my mouth, I realized he was doing his best. Good grief, LaVender, give the boy a break! We got out of the house in time, prayed in the car, and we were on our way. No words were spoken on the drive (too early for him), but as he got out of the car I told him how proud I was of his initiative to get up and ready on time and we exchanged the fist bump.

No one wants the voice of a nag in their ear first thing in the morning. I try so hard to send my husband and children off on a joyful note. Their entire day can be set up or set off by the words I speak. This is just one reason I awake early before my household stirs. Spending quiet time with the Master enables me to see the good in others and have more compassion. I need God’s Spirit to cover me before I interact with anyone. It makes a huge difference in my day when my mind is set on Him. It’s almost a guarantee to come in contact with someone having a bad day or a grumpy attitude. Their lack of peace doesn’t have to shake my peace! Their negative words don’t have to influence my thinking! Their actions don’t have to turn me into a nag or complainer! Yes, that precious time alone with God is my protection. Protection from others and protection from my Self! Ouch! Are you protected this morning? If not, steal away for a moment and get covered; it’ll help you find the good in all things!

Steelers vs Bible

2011-11-07T08:20:00.000-06:00

My pastor preached from the book of Haggai yesterday, which is the second shortest book in the Old Testament. Sunday evening, while watching football, I decided to read the two very short chapters of Haggai. I sat with my Bible open while cheering for the Pittsburg Steelers. I decided to read the introduction to Haggai first, to get a better understanding. I chuckled as I read how priorities and values are reflected by how we spend our time. Hmmm…my Bible was running a close second to the Steelers. It was a good game, but so was the book of Haggai. I kept reading and cheering, and guess what? The Steelers lost. I watched the post-game show, and a few players from the winning team, the Baltimore Ravens, were interviewed. One player, Ray Lewis, mentioned telling his team the night before the game, to get in position to receive God’s blessings. Ray Lewis’ statement pricked my heart. I wondered if I could be in position to hear from God while watching television.

I really didn’t see anything wrong with reading my Bible while watching the game; I didn’t have to be reading it at all! It really wasn’t about the timing of my reading, but about the value I placed on God’s Word at that particular moment. I don’t ever want to get so comfortable with God or His Word that I depreciate the amazing significance to my life. God already has to compete with the busyness of my day, so why invite competition? Just as I want my husband’s and sons’ undivided attention when I talk to them, God would like my undivided attention every now and then also. Priorities need to be checked. What’s important in our life? Where we spend our time and money will give us a clue. I not only need to get in position, I need to stay in position to hear and receive from God! Thank you, Pastor. Thank you, Haggai, and thank you Ray Lewis! Happy Monday and let's get in position!

The First Five

2011-11-01T11:00:00.000-05:00

I recently read a letter to the editor of my local paper from an upset grandfather. The grandfather's words didn't settle well with me. Maybe it's just me, so help me out!

The grandfather was surprised with the requirements for his granddaughter to enter kindergarten. Knowing ABCs, numbers, and basic keyboard functions were obviously prerequisites for this particular school at age five. Uh...what's the problem? Giving consideration to the grandfather's assumed age, I can understand not knowing keyboard functions, but ABCs and numbers should definitely be known before entering school!

Expecting the school system to teach basic reading, writing, and arithmetic is setting the child up for failure! Not knowing these basics, prior to entering school, automatically puts the child behind the learning curve on the first day of school. It's already time for tutoring and catching up. Studies say the brain is like a sponge those first five years, so why not teach the child something? Busy? Working? No patience? Working two jobs? Can't read yourself? Whatever the ~~excuse~~ reason, it's just not good enough. Unless the child has an unrecognized learning disability, they should be learning something.

FIVE years - FIVE! If the child doesn't know their ABCs, what have they been doing for FIVE years? Playing with Lego Building Blocks? Watching television? Watching Sesame Street? Maybe I should ask what has the parent done for the first FIVE precious years of the child's life? Hugs, kisses, walks, and play dates definitely have a place, but learning has a place also.

I'm sure I sound a little harsh and please remember I asked for help with this in the beginning of my post. Help me out! Should a child know their ABCs, numbers, and basic keyboard functions when entering kindergarten or first grade?

Look Into My Life

2011-10-31T08:19:00.001-05:00

Within a couple of weeks, my second book will be in print. I may be judged and my spiritual walk may even be questioned, but I don’t care. The title of the book, Trash Thoughts, exposes some of my ungodly thoughts and the struggle I have keeping my thoughts in a place pleasing to God. For reasons unknown to me, God has called me to be an open book - literally. If my mess can help someone else, I’m available.

A very special seasoned woman in my life, Betty Winters, wrote, “If she dares to be an example to the young woman, she must be vulnerable-willing to let a younger woman look into her life and learn from it.” The first time I read these words, they were life changing for me. I knew there was no time to be embarrassed about some of the ungodly choices I’ve made, my silly mistakes, my unkind words, and now my private thoughts. My thoughts, Lord? Really?

As an older woman, it is my charge to be an example and share my spiritual journey. I must be willing to part my curtains and allow others to look into my life and learn from it. I haven’t always been saved and I don’t always act saved, but prayerfully you can learn something from my life. To those on the older woman journey with me, don’t be ashamed of your past or present circumstances; it’s all to give God glory. Share your mess and be a blessing. Unmask and share how God has given you the strength to endure a troubled marriage, feeling depressed, disobedient children, low self-esteem, financial woes, difficult relationships, trying toddlers, and spiritual emptiness to name a few. I’m not saying to go out and air all your dirty laundry, but when the opportunity presents itself to share, why not encourage, empower, enlighten, and be an example to the younger woman.

Your life is a lesson!

Consider Oral

2011-10-27T09:40:00.001-05:00

Written by Susan Irwin of BecomeOneFlesh.com

Today, I wanted to risk annoying some of my Christian sisters by
being brutally honest about a "touchy subject" with many Christian
women...

Over the past twelve years, I've received thousands of letters and
emails from Christian wives frustrated with their marriages and love
lives. They ask me questions like...

"Why isn't my husband more affectionate?"
"Why is he always 'ogling' other women?"
"Why doesn't he seem to care about MY needs, emotionally or
in bed?"

Now, sometimes, a wife is just stuck with a "stinker" for a husband.
He is truly just the type of man that is selfish and/or lazy and is
(probably) never going to magically turn into the husband of your
dreams. But, those husbands are the vast exception to the rule.
Most husbands do care about your happiness and base lots of their
personal self-esteem on whether they think you are happy or not.
But... they are also men.

And, whether you and I like it or not, there are certain "guy traits"
that are so deep and real that you just aren't going to change them
by just "wishing them away." You are going to (for your sanity) either
use these traits to your advantage... or let them continue to frustrate
you and make your marriage less fulfilling.

So, if you are (finally) ready to do something about your marital frustration,
I have a brutally honest suggestion for you...
Consider "oral."

Because I don't want to make this email super long, I won't delve into the
theology on this issue (the Bible fully endorses oral) or the male psychology
lesson, I'll just "cut to the chase"...Men are very oral.
They (deeply) desire to give you oral and they (deeply) desire for you to give it to them.
If you have tried to fool yourself into believing that your husband is different,
please... stop now. You're husband (as long as he has a pulse), if he were
100% honest with you, would LOVE to bring more oral into your bedroom.
Now, you may be thinking, "Why is it always about him?" or "How does this
help me?"
Here's how...
Women seek love and find themselves having sex.
Men seek sex and find themselves in love.
It doesn't matter how old your husband is.
It doesn't matter how long you've been married.

He thinks about giving and receiving oral.
And, he judges his love life and marriage (to some extent) on whether
he gets to give or receive it.
When he looks at other men, he compares himself, based on whether
he thinks that man is getting more oral.
When he looks at other women, he wonders if she is "oral."

If you want him to feel different and more positive about you and
your marriage, the quickest way to his heart ISN'T through his
stomach... it's through fulfilling his sexual needs and desires.

If you are willing to "make the first move" and demonstrate some
willingness and openness regarding oral, you'll be AMAZED at how
your husband starts to act differently... more attentive... more interested
in you, in general.

Eat Life!

2011-10-24T07:37:00.002-05:00

While exercising last night, I thought about my younger sister. She, as most of us do, struggles with eating the right foods from day to day. If we had someone in our ear every day to hold us accountable for what we eat and drink, it might be easier for us to do the right thing. In my attempt to be my sister’s accountability nag, I often drop an email to her that simply says, “Eat Life!” In other words, eat foods that will help nourish and replenish your body. Eat foods that even the cellular level of your body will benefit from. The alternative to eating life is to eat death. Foods and beverages that taste yummy, but damage our organs and invite fatigue. Sometimes I hear chocolate yelling my name. Oh, food doesn’t talk to you? Well, I hear chocolate loud and clear and even when I satisfy my craving, it just keeps yelling my name. “LaVender! Eat me! More, more, more!”

I try to remember my attitude, energy level, and progress is influenced by what I consume. Soda, chips, cookies, and bread, or apples, raisins, spinach, and water? We make a choice to eat life or death with every bite and every swallow we take. Thoughts of my sister reminded me of my body being a temple – holiness reigns in me! It’s easy to forget this with a plate of delicious food or addicting fast food in front of you. Holiness and trash do not mix! We probably wouldn't feel tired and need refueling by noon if we choose to eat life. We wouldn't reach the point of snapping if we choose to eat life. Even our spiritual life will awaken if we eat life. This is nothing new you're hearing, so just consider it as a reminder from your Monday morning accountability nag. EAT LIFE!

Mr. Man

2011-10-17T11:45:00.002-05:00

At 7:45 a.m., Saturday morning, I was in Walmart purchasing bottled water and ice to donate to Firstborn’s basketball team for a car wash fundraiser they were having. I completed my purchase and walked outside to the car. The man I was behind in the checkout line was standing next to his truck smoking a cigarette – our vehicles just happened to be parked next to each other. Good grief. Miss Flesh immediately became irritated; I didn't feel like talking. I hurriedly placed the ice and water bottles in the ice chest. Mr. Man says, “Looks like you’re getting ready to enjoy a fun day in the sun.” I replied, “Noooo, I’m on my way to a car wash and the car washer is in the car sleeping.” In other words, I’m not alone. Mr. Man continued to pry. He wanted to know why Firstborn was sleeping – I told him. He asked where the car wash was – I told him. As I answered each question, I questioned myself for talking to this stranger. Believe me, Miss Flesh wanted to ignore Mr. Man, but I'm working on being more polite to strangers.

As children we're taught to not talk to strangers, but unfortunately I'm now a grown woman who says she loves Jesus. Mr. Man slowly walked over to me while reaching in his pocket. I prepared to protect myself and he said, “I don’t have much, but here is a donation for the car wash.” Relieved, I said, “God bless you! Thank you!” Funny, how I suddenly felt like talking. I thought Mr. Man wanted me! I sat in the car embarrassed and sorry for my unkind thoughts of Mr. Man. It’s good to be cautious, yet it’s better to be cautious in the Spirit of God. Miss Flesh almost blew it. I wasn’t ready for a test of my kindness so early in the morning, but I thank God for it. I also thank God for Mr. Man’s life lesson for me…be kind to strangers! God can work through anyone, for anything, at anytime. Thank you, Mr. Man!

He Needs Me

2011-10-10T08:34:00.001-05:00

Hubby hugged me and held me tightly – longer than usual. I went away for the weekend – only the weekend. Hubby’s hug only confirmed what my father recently said to me, “your husband needs you.” Daddy’s wisdom and God’s grace has kept me in my marriage because there are many days I don’t feel like being married. Daddy went on to explain how men try to run the household, but it’s really the women. A man may never admit to needing his wife, but they do. It’s not about the physical help (cooking and sex) as much as it is the emotional help. The weight of being the leader in the home with the responsibility of financially providing for others is a weight many wives will never comprehend. Single mothers can definitely relate, but the married ones take it for granted mainly because we help with the providing – I take it for granted. It somewhat bruises a man’s ego to know he needs help from a woman and men are full of ego.

Husbands need words of affirmation even when they aren’t stepping up to the plate like we think they should. Our help is what helps them step up, but our complaining and judging kills their manly spirit. I know my hubby needs me and the hug only reminded me, but can I get some of that help? Yes, that was my first thought, but of course God instructed me to lean on Him just a little more as a wife. I’m called to be a help mate, yet can barely help myself, but God is my helper! Thank you, Jesus! This morning when I heard hubby’s alarm clock, I saturated him in prayer and also asked God to empower me as a helpmate. Hubby needs my encouragement and support – again and again. Hubby needs my help – hubby needs me.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

2011-10-03T15:06:00.002-05:00

I had a toothache and a swollen cheek this weekend. The pain wasn’t the problem, but the pressure to walk around in public was. I looked like half chipmunk and half human. I knew the swelling would eventually go down, but it wasn’t going fast enough for me. When it was time for me to meet the public, I realized how much emphasis I place on my looks. I spent too much time in the mirror trying to find ways to make my cheeks equal. I tried to suck the swollen one in from the inside, I tried to puff the other cheek out more, and I even tried to smile a little harder to see if I could hide my chipmunk cheek. People walk around every day with physical disabilities and disfigures and there I was concerned about a temporary swollen cheek.

Being Christ-minded wasn’t even in my thoughts – it was all about the cheek. After my spiritual spanking, I asked God to help me to stop focusing on myself. When I look in the mirror, my Self is not what I see, but the illusion I’ve created for myself is what stares back at me. My spirit is where my true beauty exists, but I have been conditioned by society to believe my physical beauty is most important. When we look at others, we create an illusion for them also.

Eyeliner, foundation, face powder, mascara, lipstick, false eyelashes, weaves – it’s all used to create an illusion or possibly hide what we aren’t satisfied with. The swollen cheek is gone this morning, but the lesson I received will be revisited every time I look in the mirror. I was perfectly created to be perfectly ME. Everything about me makes me ME, and God loves me regardless of what I look like – unlike man. God made me a beautiful woman because His beautiful Spirit lives in me. It’s not about how I look, but how I make my Heavenly Father look.

A Day Off

2011-09-26T08:51:00.005-05:00

My prayer partner and I were talking this morning about how difficult it is for mothers to get a day off. Unless we leave the house, there will always be something required or asked of us. I immediately thought about my Heavenly Father; He never gets a day off – never. I call on Him every day throughout the day and He always answers, but when I get tired of my family calling my name, I act like I don’t hear them. What if God took a day off? The thought alone is unsettling.

It’s soooo easy to complain, but what do I have to complain about? Even when I’m tired, God restores my energy. When I’m frustrated with everyday household chores, He helps me to find the good in what I do. When I’m exhausted with homework and grades, He gives me the wisdom and strength for positive parenting – it’s not my homework anyway! When hubby acts like he can’t do for himself, God reminds me I’m his helpmate, not his mother - there is a difference! When I’m consistently asked to volunteer, God reminds me how simple it is to just say “no.” God is my sufficiency for every hat I wear.

Once I realize I work specifically for Jesus and not the people around me, I won’t be so carnal minded and desire a day off, yet desire strength, energy, and power, to do what I’ve been entrusted to do. Instead of taking a day off, I’m taking a day off from complaining - again! Thank you, Lord for the ability to do what is required of me – one day at a time! I trust you to give me everything You already know I need – even a day off!

We Can Do This!

2011-09-19T14:00:00.003-05:00

Secondborn has had a cookie business for almost three years now. It wears me out physically and mentally. Friday night, he was preparing for a business expo and had a difficult time focusing. The process of baking and packaging the cookies started off fine, but about an hour into the mix, Secondborn said he needed music to motivate him. Okay, that’s fine. Minutes later he wanted a sandwich. Shortly after, he was getting tired. Then he had a headache, and then he needed a shower to help him wake up. I was mentally exhausted. I knew he needed a few words of encouragement, but my words probably came across as words of chastisement.

Secondborn pays me $5 a week to help him. Trust me, I’m worth a whole lot more, but as his mother, I’d do it for free. We can do this! The day of the event went very well and he sold lots of cookies. He also received a wealth of encouragement from customers and other business owners. I was thankful because he sure didn’t get it from me. No one sees what goes on behind the scenes, and that’s okay. I’m thankful for the people placed in my little entrepreneur’s life to support and encourage him.

Yesterday, Secondborn mentioned he had a lot of “motivators.” I told him those encouragers are his support group to keep him moving forward. We all need encouragement. It’s like mental energy to keep moving. Nothing gets done without hard work and sometimes it’s hard to encourage yourself.

As a wife and mother, I have to encourage myself in order to keep my family encouraged and being cranky and tired is not the way. I must refuel and replenish myself - daily. I must renew my mind - daily. I must remember that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and encourages me - through His Word. It's a new day...a new week...I can do this and so can you! Have an encouraging Monday! Be encouraged!

Every Breath

2011-09-12T12:28:00.005-05:00

I didn’t want to, but I needed to. Firstborn and Secondborn were only five and three years old when the 9/11 tragedy occurred, so last night, our family watched one of the many 9/11 documentaries. Surreal. Senseless. Unbelievable. Here one minute - gone the next. No one knew, the morning of September 11^th, a decade ago, that a sequence of events would occur to change their life forever. The surviving firefighters spoke of how precious and memorable the moment was when they first saw their families and even saw each other after the tragedy. I wondered why it takes death or a near death experience to truly appreciate life.

As much as I strive to live and cherish each moment, too many irreplaceable moments are taken for granted. I assume I will inhale again after I exhale, but it’s not promised. I assume I will see my family again this evening, but it’s not promised. I assume tomorrow will come, so I can call the friend that has been on my mind, but it’s not promised. How can I not value every breath I take? How can I not take advantage of the precious moments flying by?

Sigh…thank you, Lord. Thank you for reminding me that my life is just a vapor – a brief wind blowing by – a gasp of breath to exhale – a puff of air – here one minute – gone the next. Life travels fast. Learning to take advantage of the time we have with friends, co-workers, neighbors, and family would be wise. Every moment we’re alive, whether we enjoy it or not, is a moment with breath in our body. Every breath we take is a gift of life. It’s time to enjoy this gift of life – with every breath.

Be All You Can Be

2011-09-05T08:15:00.002-05:00

I asked Firstborn if he had any ideas of what he wanted to do after high school and he said he didn’t know. Hmmm…Sweetie, you’re in the eleventh grade, you don’t have long. He then asked about the Army. I told him I only knew about the service I served in, the Navy. Of course I favor the Navy, but in times like these, I just want my children to have security – spiritual and financial security.

Firstborn is only 15, so I’m not surprised he doesn’t have his life mapped out. I pulled up the Army website to view the available careers and also saw one of the Army commercials stating to be all you can be. I was thinking of myself more than Firstborn as I watched the commercial. Am I being all I can be? As a woman, wife, mother, servant of God, sister, daughter, friend, and writer, am I giving God my best? Am I in a position to allow God to pull everything out of me that He’s placed in me? Am I living at the optimum level I was created for? Just as I reminded Firstborn that he didn’t have long, I don’t have long on this wonderful planet Earth, so I better get it together. I can’t expect Firstborn to be all he can be if I’m not doing the same. As his mother, I should be able to boldly say, “Do as I do and as I say.” From the simplest of tasks to the most demanding, I must be an example – I must be all I can be.

It doesn’t matter how old we are, God is never finished with us. There is always another opportunity, another endeavor, and another chance – there is always a next in life! Today is a new day, let’s be all we can be – one day at a time!

Devotion

2011-08-29T06:46:00.001-05:00

A while ago, Firstborn made me a CD with Earth, Wind, and Fire songs and yesterday, I played my favorite song, Devotion, over, and over, and over. I decided to look up the lyrics, so I could sing the correct words instead of only singing one word - devotion. The words are beautiful. I then looked up the word devotion. Devotion: 1. profound dedication; consecration. 2. earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc. 3. an assignment or appropriation to any purpose, cause. 4. Ecclesiastical, religious observance or worship; a form of prayer or worship for special use.

I began to think of my devotion – devotion to my husband, my sons, my talents, my church, my parents, my ministry, my temple, my life. My devotion and service in each of these areas are empty without giving God the devotion He desires from me. Doing what I do can become religious rituals without a true devotion to God – the One who has placed these people and things in my care. After my umpteenth time playing the song, Secondborn asked me if the group was a gospel group. Below are the words to the song, Devotion.

"Thru devotion, blessed are the children. Praise the teacher that brings true love to many. Your devotion opens all life’s treasures and deliverance from the fruits of evil. So our mission, to bring a melody, ringin’ voices sing sweet harmony. For you here’s a song, to make your day brighter. One that will last, you long through troubled days. Giving your heart the light to brighten all of the dark that falls in your way. You need devotion. Bless the children. Deliverance from the fruits of evil. In everyone’s life, there’s a need to be happy. Let the sun shine a smile your way. Open your heart, feel a touch of devotion. Maybe this song will help uplift your day, make a better way. You need devotion, bless the children…"

May your Monday be full of devotion – to God.

"We Snap in Silence" Interview

2011-08-24T11:16:00.002-05:00

McDonald's Breakfast

2011-08-22T07:26:00.000-05:00

Last night, Firstborn mentioned he wanted McDonalds for breakfast on his first day of school. I cook a hot breakfast every morning, but I listened to him talk about McDonald’s hash browns and some other grease-filled menu item. Firstborn knows his Mama is against fast food breakfast, so I wondered why he was going against the grain. He knows breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so why McDonalds when you can have Mama’s hot breakfast? Instead of rocking the boat the night before school started, I asked him if he had money and we figured out what time we needed to leave the house to prevent being late for school. I even visited the McDonald’s website to read the nutrition facts of some of their breakfast items. I know; I’m a little anal about this. J

Some children don’t eat breakfast at all and some eat junk for breakfast, so one morning of purchased grease wouldn’t hurt Firstborn - not even on the first day of school. If this is the motivation he felt he needed for the first day, so be it. I accepted this while being reminded that this school year will be full of battles and I refuse to jump in the ring with all of them. I don’t have the mental space or energy for each of them. McDonalds, you win! Firstborn will be in the 11^th grade and has a maturing mind of his own. Although I’m his parent, I don’t want to go against the grain on every idea he has. I want to be a supportive parent and not one full of ego that has to have it my way – oh, that’s Burger King, huh? Anyway, I’m here to guide and train my children, not control and dictate. Some issues are major which will require me to put my foot down, and some are minor which will work themselves out – without Mama’s help. I’ll pray for discernment with these major and minor issues as I allow God to raise His children through me. Good grief, LaVender! Give the boy a break – even if it is at McDonald’s!

Have a marvelous Monday and choose your battles!

Distractions

2011-08-15T08:07:00.004-05:00

Last night, while hubby and I sat in the living roomtalking, the boys were nearby listening, yet focused on their gadgets. Firstbornwas texting and Secondborn was on the computer. I didn’t place emphasis on what they weredoing, but I noticed how focused they were. If they can diligently focus onwhat they enjoy doing, they can usethat same ability to focus on their school work – if they want to. The newschool year has already started for many, but the bells will ring next week forus. I will remember the deep concentration the boys had on their gadgets whenit’s time to focus on homework. The inability to focus definitely won’t be theproblem, but distractions will be.

A distraction is anything that captures ourattention from the task at hand. Whether the distraction is around us or in ourown mind, we all deal with them. Exercise, work, cleaning, studying, spendingtime with God, or even having to change a diaper invites distractions - theSpirit of Distraction comes in many forms. This school year, I will have adifferent approach with the boys when dealing with their lack of desire tofocus on their school work. I know theycan do it – if they want to! I’ll have to help them recognize theirdistractions and explain how distractions work against them – against us.Distractions damage - distractions destroy – distractions disturb - distractionsdetour us from what God has called us to do.

Regardless of our age or whatwe’re doing, focusing is significant to success. As a wife and mother with somany of my own tasks and countless distractions, I must be an example to my childrenand fight the annoying Spirit of Distraction. I must focus, follow through, andfinish what I’m called to do. I can do it – if I want to.

Boring Bible

2011-08-08T10:38:00.002-05:00

The title sounds like blaspheme doesn’t it? Well, I use to think the Bible was boring. Every time I picked it up, the thous and shalts bored me to tears and I never knew where to begin reading. I would find every excuse not to read the Bible. Booooring!

Now, as an older, wiser, married woman with children, I’ve realized how much I need God’s presence in my life. I dare not start my day without His Word. If you ever want to start reading the Bible and not know where to start, The Psalms are awesome! The Psalms, located right in the center of the Bible, remind me that God is the center of my life. Reading the Psalms has given me a deeper relationship with God. This morning, I read Psalm 27 and it began with, “The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?” I read a little further, and it read, “Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.” I continued reading with, “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage; and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say on the Lord.” Now, what woman doesn’t need these words in her life today? Boring Bible? I don’t think so!

How we react to daily situations reveals how much Word we have in our life - our Word level. As we deal with our toddlers, teenagers, and adult children, God’s Word gives us power! As we help our husbands, God’s Word gives us power! As we interact with co-workers, God’s Word gives us power! As we deal with our Self, God’s Word gives us power!

The next time you look at your Bible, look at it as your power. Open it, read it, and be empowered! Boring it is not!

Mom's Fighting Fat!

2011-08-03T07:45:00.003-05:00

All of us are guilty of starting something and not finishing it. Whether it's a special project, a new endeavor, or even a blog!

Well, my dear friend, Sandy, started a blog a while ago titled, Mom's Fighting Fat. It was a great blog, but life got in the way and Sandy left all her followers and her fat hanging - no pun intended.

Mom's Fighting Fat offered so much encouragement and information to women with a desire to live a healthy lifestyle. Sandy also included her own struggle with weight loss and even took backside pictures and videos of herself exercising. Oh my goodness, who does this?

I'm proud to say, Mom's Fighting Fat is back in business and I'm asking you to please drop by and welcome Sandy back to blogland.

When time permits, visit Mom's Fighting Fat Comes Back

To Yield Or Not To Yield To Temptation

2011-08-01T07:31:00.002-05:00

psst…pssst…PSSSST!

This is the sound I heard in my ear all weekend as I enjoyed my high school class reunion. The psst was the call of temptation in my ear. The planning committee went above and beyond what was necessary to set the stage for pure enjoyment and excitement; it was an awesome gathering. Not only did I see the faces of classmates I hadn’t seen in years, but I also saw the face of temptation – up close and personal. We all have a weakness and if the stage is set properly, we will be faced with a choice – to yield or not to yield. I love to dance and my body wanted to get down, get funky, and get loose - really loose. Thank God, I was able to dance like a lady and still have a ball. Did somebody say buffet? Delicious food was in abundance, yet I held back from eating all I could eat. Is that Eddie? I had a crush on Eddie from junior high to high school and there he was in the flesh standing next to me. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. Hubby knew all about Eddie and finally met my high school crush. I thanked hubby for coming to the reunion with me because temptation has a mind of its own – I live in the real world. Just because I love the Lord doesn’t mean I’m excused from being tempted by the lures of my weaknesses and Eddie was definitely a weakness back in the day. Talking to Eddie reminded me why I liked him so much. Miss Flesh was in my ear. “Psst…psst…you know you still like him. Psst…have dinner with him. Psssst..he has a boat and likes to fish, you love fish! Pssst…hug him again.” Whether our weakness is food, money, music, or men, we WILL be tempted and although sometimes difficult, the choice should be to yield not to temptation. Are you wondering what happened with Eddie? Well, I got out of my own bed with my own husband - I made the right choice. I was not a prisoner of the moment. Eddie is where I left him – in my past. Have a marvelous Monday and yield not to temptation.

Listening To My Body

2011-07-25T15:47:00.002-05:00

My mind told me to get up, but my body told me to rest. This morning, I listened to my body. I had a strenuous weekend that exhausted me beyond words. My mother volunteered to host her family reunion, so she led a small group of us as she planned and prepared food and entertainment for what turned out to be an awesome reunion. We pushed our bodies beyond the limit and none of us took time to eat correctly to give our bodies the fuel needed to work the long and hard hours necessary to make the reunion happen. We worked on fumes and adrenalin and there was no time to rest. The family enjoyed the reunion and gave rave reviews and endless compliments, yet the hard work took a toll.

My older sister and I talked about how some women live this type of strenuous lifestyle week after week. This may be the reason heart disease is the number one killer for women. Being mentally stressed is just one of the many factors of heart disease. A lifestyle of constant busyness invites mental stress. Our minds say keep going, but our bodies beg us to stop and renew. We often listen to our mind thinking we are so important, we must keep going. Well, if we don’t stop, we won’t be able to keep going. It may appear glamorous and some women even feel validated having such a full schedule, but why? Do I have a free day this week? Yes, and it will remain free – free to renew my mind and body. Every day of the week doesn’t need an event or appointment. The labor of the reunion is over and I welcome my weekly schedule with Mom's Taxi. Thank you!

Women are amazing. We are able to multi-task and do what we do well. We were created to produce and deliver – not just babies. Remembering to renew ourselves is critical – to our Self, our family, and everyone else depending on us. Listen to your body!

Slow To Yell

2011-07-18T08:59:00.003-05:00

Rural roads with signs warning of cattle crossing is where I found myself Sunday while driving home from another basketball tournament. Firstborn programmed the GPS and instead of the main highway, we were on country roads. I was furious because I was past tired. Hubby wasn’t with us this time, so I was forced to pay attention to directions. I asked Firstborn if he did everything correctly and of course he said he did, but this was supposedly a quicker route. Excuse me? I was fuming. No, I was pissed. I felt like crying each time the agitating GPS voice told me to turn left or right onto some unknown back road. I wanted to fuss and yell at Firstborn, but he already endured this during the tournament, so I granted him mercy. I was so tired, I couldn’t think straight to pray. The only scripture that came to mind was the one I didn’t want to remember - be slow to anger. Sigh….

I finally reached a place, mentally, to think reasonably and pray, but looked at the gas tank showing less than a quarter tank. No gas stations were on any of these roads, but we did see two donkeys and a deer. I felt anger stirring again, but this time I prayed for peace. I knew Firstborn was only trying to get us home quicker and my yelling would only make him feel worse. My peace didn’t come immediately, but focusing on God and trusting Him to save me from the back roads and my anger invited peace. Anger is a monster waiting to be awakened by a simple word, action, or thought. I knew my anger wouldn’t help the situation, so I shut up and continued following the agitating GPS voice. An hour later, we met the highway and a gas station. Firstborn sighed with relief and went to sleep without being yelled at.

Did the rural route save time? No, but I learned that anger gives absolutely no direction!

My Pain

2011-07-11T09:08:00.002-05:00

I was awakened at midnight with stomach cramps – not because of something I ate, but because I’m a woman. Yes, monthly cramps. I wondered why, at 48 years old, was I still entertaining Aunt Flo. Give me a break! Because I was so disturbed and agitated, I thought about every other type of pain women endure. Childbirth is another. Woman was chosen to bear the children – in pain. Even after the children are born, we endure further pain from our children as we continue to carry their pain in our hearts. Emotional pain is another. Woman was created with extra layers of emotions – we love hard and we hurt hard. Spiritual pain is another. Church-goers or not, women passionately cry out to God as we seek help and guidance in keeping our home in tact and our family united. Think about it, how often do you see men cry out to God in public? Whether in church, a hospital, or in court, women aren’t afraid to cry out to our Heavenly Father for help and strength.

If pain, in fact, empowers us, we should be some extraordinary, empowered species. We are extraordinarily empowered! In order to withstand all the physical, spiritual, and emotional pain we experience, we have to be extraordinary and to put it plainly, man couldn’t handle the pain we shoulder. The way they act with a simple cold is amusing. We may be the weaker vessel physically, but we sure are the stronger vessel in every other aspect – just my opinion.

By 1 a.m., my stomach pain subsided and I had a Monday Meditation to share. Pain empowers in ways we don’t expect! Instead of always asking for healing or deliverance from my pain, I should be asking what God wants me to learn from it or how I can be empowered through it. The popular saying is true – no pain, no gain! Pain strengthens, gives courage, and empowers - if we allow it to.

Out of Control

2011-07-04T07:42:00.001-05:00

The stands were full of passionate fans, the players were physical, the score was close, and emotions were intense. I’ve watched Firstborn play many basketball games, but the energy from this game was like no other. The team and parents traveled three hours for a weekend tournament and this game determined if we played the championship game or not. I found myself feeding off the energy in the crowds. Miss Flesh was stirring strongly within me and having her way. I was yelling, waving my arms, correcting referees, and coaching from the stands like a mad woman. I was out. of. Control.

A quiet voice inconspicuously ushered me out of the stands to sit near the entrance of the gym – alone. I was put in time out to regroup, refocus, and gain some self-control. I was also reminded by that quiet voice of how my surroundings influence me – I must always be aware. If I’m amidst gossip, I’m prone to gossip. If I’m amidst complacency, I’m prone to complacency. If I’m amidst mess, I’m prone to be messy. If I’m amidst out of control fans, I’m prone to be out of control. While sitting in my spiritual time out, I prayed as I watched the game. I wasn’t as fanatical and cheered like a mama with some sense. God didn’t want me to embarrass myself, Firstborn, or Him. We won the game, but lost the championship game. I was mentally exhausted, but thankful for my life lesson, which was timely for all the many activities filling the summer months. I must always be aware of my environment and my emotions – remembering who and whose I am. When school begins, football season starts and this mama is already excited, but because I don’t want to be in another time out, I will enjoy the game, yet practice self-control. Go Team!

Press Through!

2011-06-27T10:03:00.000-05:00

Firstborn was sick with a stomach virus that left him lifeless for a few days. On the third day of his virus, I encouraged him to get up and fight his illness. Also on that third day, Firstborn’s football coach called to check on him. While listening to his coach speak, I thought about athletes who play with broken bones, pain, and high fever. Athlete or not, we all meet adversity and learning to press through our uncomfortable circumstances is the only way we move forward. I boldly explained pressing through pain to Firstborn and the very next day, I was faced with my own test of pressing through.

I decided to cut the grass, so full of energy, I tackled the back yard and then moved to the front yard. Halfway through the front, I was exhausted and wanted to stop. I immediately remembered my bold, encouraging words to Firstborn. Sigh… I knew I needed to practice what I preached. Needless to say, I pressed through my fatigue and the heat and finished the yard.

Grapes are pressed to get the sweet juices out of them. We too, must be pressed to get the best out of us. If grapes had a voice, I’m sure they’d scream from the pain of the press, but the press is necessary. The same is true for us. In order for God to get the optimum performance out of us, we must endure painful press positions. Firstborn’s coach had no idea his phone call would offer a life lesson on pressing through adversity, but that’s what a good coach does – gets the best out of his players. The fourth day, Firstborn was still weak, but he went to practice and pressed through. When he got home, he asked who cut the yard. I smiled and said, “Your Mama pressed through and cut it.”

If you find yourself in an uncomfortable press position, pray to press through!

Celebrate You!

2011-06-20T10:25:00.000-05:00

This is my birthday month and I’m turning 48 years old. Not 43 or 45, but 48. It seems like it happened overnight. The 40s fly by quicker than the 30s and I heard the 50s zoom by. Many women don’t care to share their age, but the older, wiser woman is absolutely captivating to me. Notice I said older and wiser because some women simply get older without an ounce of wisdom to impart.

Now, for you younger women, please take note. Your beautiful body will always be beautiful although your breasts will begin to sag and unless you do 200 sit-ups a day, your mid section will become pillow-like. If you aren’t stretching and exercising daily, your muscles and joints will become tight and it’ll take you two minutes to stand from sitting position. Heaven help you if you aren’t drinking at least ten glasses of water a day and eating fruits and vegetables because the menopausal season will shake your body into shock. Men want to have sex regardless of their age, so we better stay in shape! Our aging bodies will treat us exactly how we’ve treated it over the years. Think about the amount of fast foods and sodas you’ve consumed. It’ll come back to haunt you if you don’t make changes now – it’s never too late and your body will thank you.

The woman’s body is like a piece of art - the older it gets, the value and appreciation increases. Just like wine and cheese – we too, get better over time. Pray to embrace becoming the older, wiser woman. Why fight something inevitable? Don’t you want to meet the older, wiser you? You’ll embrace your gray hairs if you truly embrace YOU. You’ll embrace your sagging breasts if you truly embrace YOU. Embrace every season of your life you’re alive. Every day with breath in our body is a reason to celebrate. Celebrate life! Celebrate YOU! I am…all 48 years!

Sauce Stain

2011-06-13T07:06:00.001-05:00

This weekend, my attention was captured by the book of Proverbs. One evening, I reached for my Bible, on the sofa, which was already opened to the Proverbs and I noticed something on the page. I immediately tore into hubby sitting close to my Bible. I threw several questions at him without waiting for his reply. “What is this? Are you crazy? I don’t believe you!” Hubby used my Bible to place his empty, dirty lasagna plate on. Hubby didn’t say a word, but looked at me like I was crazy.

I wiped the sauce off, but of course it stained the page. The stain wasn’t on an actual Proverbs passage, but on a study note that read, “These short, wise sayings give us practical wisdom for daily living. We should study them diligently and integrate them into our life.” I hysterically laughed as my life lesson came through the sauce stain. I didn’t have to go off on hubby the way I did; my reaction could have been totally different. Reading the Proverbs is one thing, but integrating them into my daily life is another. Quoting scripture is one thing, but living the scriptures is another. Going to church is one thing, but being the church is another. My lasagna was one thing, but my life lesson from the sauce stain was better.

Life will be full of opportunities to integrate God’s Word. My reaction to my children, traffic, telephone calls, emails, unexpected situations, hubby, people, and every part of my life will offer opportunities to integrate the Word in my life. The stain on my Proverbs page is a reminder to allow God’s Word to stain my heart – to apply them to my life. My life lessons come from the strangest situations, but there is a lesson in everything – even sauce stains!

BBB

2011-06-06T07:17:00.001-05:00

I spoke to a new mother who is realizing her bundle of joy has turned into a bundle of battles. Whether it’s a new marriage, new baby, new car, new position, new job, or a new business, our season of bliss will bring battles – it’s guaranteed. Blissful times often take our focus off God, but battles bring us back.

Years ago, I would have prayed for this new mother to be delivered from her adversity, but now I know her storms are exactly what she needs to be strengthened. Every woman reading this can agree. From Bliss to Battles to being Blessed – that’s life.

We pray to be healed from sickness and delivered from difficult times, but can we trust God enough to let Him have His way? We don’t want to experience physical, spiritual, emotional, or even financial pain, yet pain empowers us! Storms teach us to fly like eagles – above the storm! Our battles will even empower others if we aren’t ashamed to share. We’ll say God brought us through, but we won’t say what He brought us through. This young mother needed to hear how God brought me through my past days of sleep deprivation, emotional muddle, and sometimes feeling like a single mother. I shared because I knew we both would be blessed. From Bliss to Battles to Blessed.

My prayer for this new mother is not for deliverance from her battles, but for peace and endurance to go through; she will definitely be blessed! We rarely learn anything in good times, but battles invite growth. From Bliss to Battles to Blessed.

I Dare You!

2011-05-23T07:15:00.004-05:00

Secondborn and I talked about his gifts and talents this weekend. He sometimes doubts himself and lacks confidence in his God-given abilities. These doubts lead to discouragement. As his mother, I continually remind him of the supernatural power he possesses to excel. My teaching moment immediately turned into a life lesson for myself. The words I shared with Secondborn should be applied to my abilities – especially my writing.

I recently found the nerves to submit articles to various magazines and received my first acceptance – with pay. Why didn’t I do this a long time ago? Because I doubted my abilities, which is actually saying I doubted God. After all, it’s His gift; I’m just an instrument for words to flow through. We all have gifts, creative abilities, and unique talents. What are we doing with them? I dared Secondborn to let God have His way with his abilities and to watch what happens. I also dared myself. A dare will push us pass our carnal limitations. Fear blocks our optimum performance and doubt limits our faith. I dared myself to allow God to consume my writing. I dared myself to give my writing back to God. I dared myself to seek God for direction with my words. I dared myself to put God’s super on my natural each time I sit down to write.

As women, we naturally overflow with God’s creative spirit. It seems our creativity travels in so many directions, but our lack of focus on Him also takes us in soooo many directions. We sometimes appear to be all over the place. I’m good at many things, but one thing I know – writing is God’s special gift to me. You too, can make a list of things you’re good at, but what’s one thing you know is a special gift? I dare you to allow God to have His way with it! I dare you!

Have a marvelous Monday!

Motivate Me

2011-05-16T07:38:00.000-05:00

Hubby is sent off to work with a hot breakfast, a hot hug, and words of encouragement. The last thing he hears from me each morning is to have a great day!

The boys are also sent off to school motivated and knowing having a good attitude will make a good day and I pray with them individually every morning. Keeping my family motivated and on the right track is a job in itself – especially Mondays.

Who motivates me? Well, if I don’t motivate myself, no one gets motivated. Some mornings are more difficult to motivate myself than others. The mornings I’m held captive by my covers are the hardest. Who wants to be motivated when you don’t even want to get out of bed? The days I’m dealing with the horror of my hormones are extremely difficult - the word motivation sounds more like mutilation!

My only source of motivation is knowing my strength comes from above. There is no morning cup of coffee, but a morning cup of Jesus. There is no music, but meditation. There is no self help book, but I speak words from The Book…I can do all things through Christ…the joy of the Lord is my strength…He will keep me in perfect peace…the Lord is the strength of my life…I will never leave you…with God all things are possible…abide in me…God is able…let not your heart be troubled…follow me…fear not…Repeating power-filled promises motivates me in the right spirit to begin my day. God’s words empower me and counteract the pessimistic and self defeating words I hear throughout the day from others and sometimes in my own head. I can’t sit and wait for someone to motivate me. I have to motivate myself! I have to encourage myself! If you haven’t been motivated today, speak a few of God’s power-filled promises and meditate on them. Your Monday and every other day will be okay! He promised!

Have a marvelous Monday!

33 Cent Stamp

2011-05-09T06:18:00.001-05:00

For days I contemplated whether to send my mother a Mother’s Day card or not. I personally don’t care for the cards, but decided to send her one anyway. I searched and searched until I found one saying something remotely close to what I would say. I placed a stamp on the envelope and it was in the mailbox on Wednesday. Unfortunately, I realized a little late that the envelope had only one 33 cent stamp on it. Good grief! I called Mama to apologize for my scattered brain mistake. I then waited for the cards to return to me, so I could add the correct postage. Mother’s day came, but the cards didn’t make it back to me. I called Mama to say Happy Mother’s Day and she received her card! I didn’t try to figure it out, but I thanked the post office and thanked God! Mama said the post office probably knew it was a Mother’s Day card and felt sorry for me. Whatever the reason, I was grateful. My old 33 cent stamp also bought me a priceless Mother’s Day life lesson. As a wife and mother, when I come up short, God has my back – in everything. When I’m low on energy, He fills me up. When I’m low on money, He is my sufficiency. When I’m low on giving, His giving Spirit steps in. When I’m low on love, His love covers me and comes through. When I’m low on serving, He serves me with an extra ounce of His grace and mercy. Thank you, Lord for being my sufficiency, my energy, my strength, my peace, my light, my joy, my comfort, my HELP, my everything! It’s another Monday morning and as I ask God to fill me with His Spirit to get through the day, I will also remember to ask Him for a refill when I begin to run low. Let’s have a marvelous Monday!

My Haitian Babies

2011-05-02T12:28:00.001-05:00

This weekend, my pastor and a few others from my church returned from a mission trip to Haiti. While they were away, they sent journal updates and pictures via Facebook. The pictures of the Haitian children tugged at my heart. I looked at those big brown eyes and innocent faces over and over again. I wanted so badly to take care of one. Knowing they couldn’t, I asked the mission group to bring one of those precious babies to me. Sunday, while driving home without my Haitian baby in my arms, the Lord let me know there were plenty of children all around me needing love. I’ve mentioned before how our house is the neighborhood gathering spot for children to play. Since the boys have been in public school, there are even more children around. We have more sand than grass in our yard because of the football, baseball, and endless games of hide and seek and tag going on. The children God wants me to love aren’t from Haiti, but they are from Him. I failed to recognize the work God has for me right in my front yard. I get tired of knocks at the front door, but these knocks are God’s knocks. I have children all around me, but noooo, I wanted a Haitian baby! I have two teenagers that need all the love and attention I’m capable of giving, but noooo, I wanted a Haitian baby! I have nieces and nephews that I need to be a loving aunt to, but noooo, I wanted a Haitian baby! There is a youth ministry in my church needing help, but noooo, I wanted a Haitian baby! The message is loud and clear. I don’t need to look for someone to love because the need is all around me and my first ministry is the homefront.

Have a marvelous Monday and if you’re looking for someone to help, check your homefront first!

My Search Has Ended

2011-04-25T08:15:00.003-05:00

While visiting my parents over the weekend, my mother dragged me to her friend’s yard sale, which was held in an empty parking lot. Her dear friend was selling items her deceased mother left behind. A mid-sized U Haul truck pulled up packed with items to be sold. We helped unload the truck full of clothes with tags still on them, countless boxes of shoes and hats, dishes, linen, kitchen ware, and so many other items. Unloading the truck brought my recent job search to mind. The bottom line is… I want more money. Do I need the money? Well, everyone can use extra money, but I don’t need the money. All my needs are met. My bills are getting paid – some may be paid late, but they get paid. We always have food and to be honest, we eat too much. We don’t have enough closet space for our clothes and we have transportation. What else do I need? My heart truly wants to be at home using the gifts God gave me, but the opportunity to make more money stole my heart. More money means more stuff. More stuff will require a U Haul truck that can’t go with me when I die. My unusual job search journey showed me I wasn’t as content as I thought I was. The U Haul truck reminded me my heart is at home. My job search has officially ended. If God wants me to work outside the home, He’ll have to drop a job in my lap - literally. I’m back on track seeking His face instead of the face of a new boss or the face of dead presidents. It’s scary and sad how stuff can steal our heart from God. Subtle acts of idolatry aren’t easy to recognize. God knew my heart from the beginning and the continuous resume rejections were actually blessings! I’m content being at home – where I belong and obviously where He wants me. Yes, my search has ended and thank God I didn’t get a job before the U Haul truck showed me the way back home!

STRETCH

2011-04-18T06:10:00.002-05:00

A woman’s body is stretched to hold and carry the seeds we conceive. Our bodies are stretched to deliver our bundles of joy. Our hearts are stretched to love our children. Our mercy is stretched to help and forgive our men. We are stretched from one end to the other meeting everyone’s needs. We stretch a dollar when we need to make ends meet. We stretch meals to feed others besides our family. We should stretch our muscles…it’s important as we age. We amazingly stretch all we do into 24 hours. We stretch our eyes to help with late night homework and projects. Our energy is stretched when it’s time to turn into a sex machine. Our patience is stretched when our family doesn’t recognize we’ve been stretched. Our character is stretched as God draws us closer to Him. In the evening, we finally allow our bodies to rest as we stretch out.

This morning, I thanked God when my eyelids stretched open. I stood up, stretched out my arms to Him and received a fresh supply of His strength, energy, and power. My connection with my Power Source is secure and I’m ready for another day of stretching. Stretch, one, two, three, stretch! A woman’s ability to stretch in so many ways is amazing, yet it doesn’t compare to how our Lord stretched out His arms to die for us. Because He stretched, we can.

Burger King Doesn't Want Me!

2011-04-11T05:18:00.001-05:00

After eight years of retirement life, being a happy homemaker and homeschooling mom, I’m on a job search. I’ve completed several online applications to jobs that ‘fit’ my criteria. After receiving several rejections, I applied to Burger King. Can you believe Burger King didn’t want me either! This job search has definitely been a humbling experience. After I retired, I said I would never work outside the home and here I am eating my words. Both boys are in public school and I’m still at home. I love having dinner hot and ready at 3 p.m. every day and greeting my three men one by one. What a life! Well, my ‘what a life’ has been stirred. I really don’t want to leave my warm, cozy home and I love watching everyone else play the 9-5 game, yet I’m applying for jobs like I’m in a trance. Hubby doesn’t care if I work or not, so what’s up with this, Lord and what’s up with all the rejections? Burger King, are you serious? Well, I recently heard of a few other jobs that ‘fit’ my criteria. I applied and now I wait. I’m not waiting on a phone call, but on God. This whole process is a life lesson. My blind faith is being sharpened, my pride pruned, and my obedience tried. I realized my job search isn’t about a job at all, but about the journey. Through my many rejections, I learned that if I continue to look for the end result, the grand prize job, I’ll miss the journey. Life is a journey! Whether it is getting a job, a raise, having a child, children graduating, getting married, or retiring…we miss out on life waiting for an end result. End results don’t always end up the way we want them, but the journey is full of life! I’ll keep you posted on my job search, but until God moves me, I’m enjoying my life! What a life!

Live Your Life!

2011-04-04T07:29:00.001-05:00

I’m not a fan of cell phones, yet my Tracfone serves its purpose for urgent calls and I’ve been using the same 60 minutes for three months now. Keep this thought while I digress. Saturday morning, I awoke with unusual thoughts about my life. I have one life to live. One life – one shot – no second chance. My thoughts reminded me to take full advantage of all the opportunities given to me and grasp every minute. There are three people I don’t want at my funeral – Mr. Should Have, Miss Could Have, and Mrs. Would Have. My thoughts pricked my heart to be all I was created to be. These early morning thoughts about my life were received although the timing was somewhat strange to me.

Back to the cell phone. Later Saturday, I noticed my Tracfone was flipped opened – yes I have the flip feature (smile). I didn’t even know I had a screen saver, but guess what words were traveling across the screen? The screensaver read…Live your life…Can you believe this? After having this Tracfone for over a year, this particular morning I was supposed to read those words. I excitedly told Hubby and the boys and Firstborn mentioned he created the screensaver when the phone was his…he has since upgraded. Talk about my Tracfone serving its purpose! No one seemed excited about the timing of my screen saver message except me, but it was meant for me – only me. Coincident? No. God-incident! Everyday, I must live my life to the fullest. I must expect great things. I must expect the impossible. I must know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I must focus. I must live fearlessly without doubt. I must surround myself with like-minded people. I must allow the spirit of God to have His way in me, through me, and with me! I was created by God for God and my life is a gift! No more excuses – no more reservations – no more procrastination – no more! I must live my life…I only have one!

Are you living yours? Happy Monday!

Mom Renames ADHD

2011-03-31T14:16:00.001-05:00

My blogger buddy, Amber, over at Faith, Love, Kids, and Me has renamed ADHD. Hmmm...I wonder who gave her permission? With that being said, I DO have permission from her to share her findings (smile).

ADHD Renamed

Cleaning My Plate

2011-03-29T11:46:00.002-05:00

I’ve been recently employed by Secondborn to assist with his cookie business, I have a teenager who is a sophomore athlete needing Mama’s extra encouragement and attention as he transitions to adulthood, both boys are active in sports and weeknights are late with practices, I have a high maintenance husband wanting all my attention, I have three or four active blogs, I have the Momsweb meditation I’m supposed to send out every Monday, I have a book I’d like to market a little more and others I’d like to get published, I have speaking engagements coming up, and you want me to do what and go where? My plate is about to crack again, so I must begin scrapping the things not served by God. I find this happening to me at least twice a year, but this time I’ve noticed the crack before it split in half.

A mother’s job is full time and I only have two children. God help the woman with more and God please give an extra ounce of grace to the single mother! Please don’t misunderstand me. I can fit anything I want in my schedule. I can MAKE IT HAPPEN, but why? I create our own stress, and God knows I can create some stuff to do! I can plan an event in a hot minute, start another business, volunteer, assist, and try to be involved in other beneficial causes, but why? Allowing God to order my steps allows Him to make the decisions for me regarding what and what not to get involved in. What a relief! Today alone is full, but staying in God’s will allows me to rest in Him and not complain about a busyness I’m capable of creating. As for me and my house, I choose to live in peace and maintain my peace of mind!

If your plate is about to crack, scrape a few things off....life will go on!

Throwing in the Towel

2011-03-17T09:44:00.001-05:00

If you feel like throwing in the towel, make sure it's white!

Surrender your cares, your chores,

your children, your husband, and

your SELF to your helper!

Encourage and Love Your SELF

Dirty Emotions

2011-03-14T05:21:00.002-05:00

A few things will always be needed from a wife and mother – a meal, sex, and clean laundry. Of course, there are others, but these reign supreme in my head. As the children grow older, their dependency decreases, but it appears the husband’s need increases. We know we’re expected to provide these never-ending needs, so it’s best to establish a coping mechanism early in the game to maintain our peace of mind. I’ve been married for seventeen years and a mother for fifteen and my coping skills didn’t kick in until it was almost too late. I pray I remember the younger women as I transition through my seasons of motherhood. Young mothers or newly married women may have difficulty finding their joy on some days, and they need to know it’s OKAY! We are guaranteed days of dirty emotions just as we are guaranteed days of dirty dishes and laundry. I call them dirty emotions, because we tend to hide our dirt to keep from being judged or out of embarrassment. Trust me, the woman who judges you owns her share of dirt also; she just hides it well. We all endure dirty emotions and thank God they don’t last forever; they’ll get cleaned right along with the dishes and laundry. Dirty emotions usually occur out of exhaustion from burning the candle at both ends and neglecting our SELF. Before we take care of anyone, it’s crucial we take care of the caretaker. If not, the dirty emotions will surface again and again (just like dirty laundry) leaving us feeling neglected and used. Take a break, learn to have mental retreats if you can’t get away, take a nap to renew your mind, love and nurture yourself as you love and nurture others. Begin this week lovin’ you and watch the dirt fall from your emotions. It’s OKAY to love your SELF!

If you haven't visited Lovin' Me, please do!

Watch

2011-03-07T05:50:00.001-06:00

I drove Firstborn and three of his teammates to the gym to play basketball Saturday. Instead of dropping them off, I decided to save gas and sit and watch - I watched for two and a half hours. They were hungry afterwards and wanted to eat, so Mom’s taxi found an economical place for them to spend their money. While they ordered and waited for their food, I sat in the car and watched them. My shift ended at their school’s track meet. It was too cold for me, so I watched from the car – I watched for two hours. Where was hubby during all of this? Secondborn had a similar schedule, so hubby was also busy watching and waiting. Parents spend a lot of time watching their children and I’m sure those of you with adult children can share stories of your own. I was reminded of someone who watches more than us…God! God watches us with loving eyes just as a mother does except He doesn’t count hours or watch the clock. He even watches while we sleep! To think of being watched from a child’s perspective gives a new sense of security. It makes me feel extra special to know my Heavenly Father watches me with undivided attention. I can’t watch my sons 24/7, nor do I desire to, but God can and does. He watches and ensures my safety and wellbeing. Just as a mother’s eyes are the frontline to prevention of harm and danger to her children, so are the eyes of God on us. I truly dwell in a secret place. Minute by minute – day by day…I’m being watched! The next time I complain of having to watch and wait, I’ll think of who is watching me - without a mumbling word. Have a marvelous Monday and remember….God is watching!

I Broke The Law

2011-03-03T10:21:00.002-06:00

This morning was the first day I didn't press my imaginary breaks or grab something to hold onto as Firstborn drove to school. Besides the right front tire kissing the curb of the school upon our arrival and the taxi in front of us that I thought Firstborn was passionately trying to be a backseat passenger with, he did okay! Whew!

He received his permit a few weeks ago, yet I must admit I broke the law several times prior to him receiving his permit. In order to save my firstborn from the fiery fumes of his father's teachings, I made sure he knew how to drive before driving with his father. I didn't want my dear son to come home in tears because Papa Bear had no patience with him. Yeah, I did it. I broke the law and took a chance just to save my baby some heartache.

The first time hubby drove with Firstborn, he was shocked (hee-hee). I had to admit I taught him how to drive without his permit and hubby couldn't believe his sweet, Christian wanna be wife broke the law. Hubby calls me Straight Lace because I do everything in my power to follow rules and regulations, but when it comes to my babies....there is no telling what I might do!

Love and Encourage Yourself!

2011-03-01T09:53:00.001-06:00

Before you begin to pour into others,

a woman must first learn to pour into herself

Learn to Love and Encourage Yourself

Lovin' Me

Is Your Tank Full?

2011-02-28T05:15:00.001-06:00

My gas tank isn’t the only tank I’ve been checking lately. I’ve been forced to check my faith tank also. When I first noticed the $3.35 gas prices, I laughed; but I quickly realized I would actually have to pay that ridiculous price. Oh well, just because the gas prices constantly fluctuate doesn’t mean my faith has to. Unwavering faith is definitely what is needed these days. I need a full tank of faith – forget gas! I must continually remind myself that God is my sufficiency. Not my retirement check, not hubby’s job, not a tax return, or my book sales…GOD is my sufficiency! It’s easy to look at gas prices and fall into frustration and doubt, yet I have to remember the God I serve has always sustained my family. The rising cost of fuel doesn’t change who God is. Sometimes we forget God is ALMIGHTY. We forget God is ABLE. We forget God is in CONTROL. Sometimes it takes a jolt to our pocketbook to remember just who God is. Maybe we got comfortable being able to fill our tanks up. Ha! Who is comfortable now? Who is filling their gas tank up now without saying, “Lord, have mercy!” Our circumstances can change in a moment, but thank God for His unchanging hand! Our gas tanks may not be full, but let’s make sure our faith tank is! Thank God it’s Monday and as gas prices increase, so shall our faith!

TGIM

2011-02-21T06:08:00.001-06:00

Last night, Secondborn said, “I wish I didn’t have to go to school tomorrow.” Oh boy, here we go again and he’s starting early. I would love to hear someone in my home say, “Thank God, it’s Monday!” Well, I guess that person will have to be me. We have the power to make our day and today I choose to look upon this new Monday with a new attitude. Thank God it’s Monday! Thank God for another chance to get my attitude right! Thank God for another Monday to see my husband and children. What about you? Is there something you have to be thankful for this Monday morning? Thank God for a job! Thank God for food! Thank God for a car! Thank God for sight to read this meditation! Thank God for life – health – strength! Thank God it’s Monday! In spite of what happened over the weekend, in spite of our present circumstances, in spite of our funky mood, let’s thank God for TODAY – TGIM! Tuesday is not promised to us, so let’s thank God NOW! Someone didn’t wake up this morning. It’s Monday and we’re alive! I make no apologies for sounding like I’m preaching this Monday morning, but I have never heard anyone say, ‘TGIM’. What a great way to start the week off – in appreciation and full of thanksgiving! I dare you to TGIM and I double dare you to say it to someone else. Those words may be exactly what someone may need to change the outcome of their day; it sure changed mine! Secondborn will probably need a little help this morning, so I’ll share this with him as soon as I see his happy face (smile). TGIM!

No Chocolates, Please!

2011-02-14T10:39:00.001-06:00

Hubby knows not to come home with flowers or chocolates on Valentine’s Day. It would upset me more than anything to receive a box of chocolates when I crave chocolate throughout the year. Why do I have to wait for Valentine’s Day? I’d rather have sushi than flowers and he is the only teddy bear I want to sleep with. Needless to say, we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I’d rather save myself possible disappointment and save hubby some heartache. In the book, “We Snap in Silence” , I mention how women sometimes expect a love from our husband that he is humanly incapable of giving. We wait for special holidays to receive a prompted gift, card, or any small token of love. The truth is, the love we desire is not in our home, but it’s in our heart. Think about this…God created love; God is love, so why do we seek His love from a man? No wonder we’re always emotionally bruised. We expect something that can’t be delivered. The carnal love we share is a surface love - it doesn’t last. We have to work hard to keep the fire burning, but God’s love is everlasting! He comforts us and loves us like no one else can. God wants us to love Him back with our whole heart and wants His love to flow freely through us – everyday. Our children are watching us! Are we showing God’s love? Did we show love yesterday? How about when we feel unappreciated and taken advantage of in our home? Do we show God’s love or do we show out? Well, regardless of how we choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day – or not, remember… our first and only true love is the Creator of love – God. Remember to first love yourself and have a very special day of love – today and everyday!

Mama, I'm Hungry!

2011-02-11T09:09:00.002-06:00

Unlike his younger brother, Firstborn attempts to save his money, but his strong desires of unnecessary wants usually get the best of him.

I place money in his lunch account to last him a couple of weeks. Lunch is $2.50 a day, so anything he purchases over that amount is taken from another day's lunch. I recently checked his account and sure enough there were days he spent $3.00 and even $4.00. I know you're a growing boy, but you're going to be hungry for a couple of days! As hard as it was not to give him extra money, I didn't - I couldn't! He had to make and take his own lunch or go hungry. Firstborn decided to go hungry. Auuuugh!

"Mama, I'm hungry!" rang in this Mama's ears all day long.

His first day without lunch money, he said he went to his football coach's office and ate two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He loves peanut butter and jelly and the coach always has an ample supply for the team. Today is the second day and it killed me to not give him a couple of dollars, but the lesson is more important. One day, he'll be off in college or wherever he is and needs to know if you have X amount of dollars to last you the month, you better make X amount of dollars last!

I'll see today if it was another peanut butter and jelly day because once again he chose not to take his lunch to school. I could have made it for him, but that's another lesson...is there something wrong with your hands?

The Perfect Recipe

2011-02-07T06:17:00.001-06:00

The boys requested hot wings for our family Super Bowl Party, so since I’ve made them before, I decided to save a penny and make them myself again. They both anticipated finger lickin’ hot wings and I looked forward to making them. I chose a very simple recipe, but it wasn’t enough sauce for the amount of wings I had, so I began to add more ingredients - without following the recipe. Big mistake! I thought the sauce was too hot, so I attempted to tone down the heat with ingredients that weren’t in the original recipe. Big mistake! The more I added to the sauce, the worse the sauce tasted. Secondborn, my little chef, tasted the sauce and said, “Mama, what did you do to it?” I was so upset at myself for not following the recipe. In my frustration, a Life Lesson for LaVender surfaced. God has a plan, a perfect recipe, for my life. Instead of trying to manipulate His plan and do my own thing, I need to follow His recipe. My desires, lack of patience, and inability to see the bigger picture only messes up the recipe. Follow the recipe, LaVender, you don’t know what you’re doing! Sometimes God will add a little more heat to His plan (the recipe) than we desire, but we must endure. He’ll even add a little more flavor than expected, just trust His recipe! Just because the recipe doesn’t look appealing doesn’t mean the end product won’t be gratifying. Follow the recipe! I never expected to receive a life lesson while making hot wings but it was a spicy one. Firstborn and hubby said the hot wings were delicious and ate them up – thank goodness! I didn’t follow the recipe, but God added a special ingredient – grace! Sweet, Jesus! Even when we veer from His recipe, He has a way of working with the mess we make. Wouldn’t it just be easier to follow the original recipe in the first place?

Aprons - Did you know?

2011-01-26T09:33:00.002-06:00

Author Unknown

I don't think our kids know what an apron is.
The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few. It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons used less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids..

And when the weather was cold Grandma wrapped it around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables.
After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.

REMEMBER:

Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.
They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.

I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love...

Don't Shoot The Messenger!

2011-01-24T10:46:00.001-06:00

Last Friday, while working in the concession stand at Firstborn’s school, my foot began to cramp. The pain was horrible and one of the other mothers told me I wasn’t drinking enough water. I was a little irritated and embarrassed because she admonished me for something I preach to other women all the time. Drink water! Drink water! She even told me in front of a couple of other women – good grief. Foot cramps occur for many reasons, but she was right – I had not consumed enough water that particular day. Instead of immediately drinking water, I silently pouted because she corrected me. She was only helping me, but my pride got in the way. My fragile emotions didn’t allow me to embrace what God was doing at that moment – giving me help. Women don’t always embrace the counsel of other women, but if we realize she may be God’s messenger, her words may be easier to receive. If another woman lovingly says our dress is too short or too tight, accept it. If we’re told we are complaining too much, accept it. If we’re told we should smile more or that we aren’t being friendly, accept it. If we’re told we need to exercise, eat healthier, or drink more water, accept it! Of course, we naturally consider the source, but if we are allowing God to order our steps, other women cross our paths to strengthen and encourage us – to help us. We often hesitate in admonishing one another because of our reactions. How many times have you heard or said, “You tell her!” Let’s attempt to receive the words God sends us. We obviously don’t listen when He tells us Himself! What’s the popular phrase? “Don’t shoot the messenger!”

By the way, make sure you drink at least 8-10 glasses of water today – I sure will.

Raising Entrepreneurs

2011-01-19T15:36:00.001-06:00

Do you have a child wanting to start their own business or

already has a business? Click here for information

on the Children's Business Expo in Atlanta, Georgia.

Stick Like Glue

2011-01-17T08:29:00.001-06:00

We are deep into the first month of the year and it’s time to check on New Year Resolutions, New Year Intentions, or whatever we call our vow to change. I didn’t make a resolution, but my word for this year is ‘abide’. The reason all my past resolutions never came to fruition is because I tried. Trying only led to failure, but when I finally realized the answer was not to try, but to surrender, things happened. Although it may be a simple word choice, being completely conscious of my lack of ability to do anything outside of God’s power is crucial. Even to be a little better today than I was yesterday, I must surrender my will and abide with God. Abiding is resting, dwelling, or as I refer to it… sticking like glue. I tried to write a book, but it didn’t get published until I stopped trying and surrendered my will. Staying married is a result of (continual) surrender. My son’s improvement in grades is a result of my surrender. My perseverance to exercise is a result of surrender. Keeping my mouth shut is definitely a result of surrendering. An awareness of my boundaries and not taking control of every situation is surrender. Abiding reminds me to surrender and reminds me of God’s power and my lack of. Abiding allows my flesh to be still. Abiding keeps my thoughts on His super and not my natural. Abiding has changed my raggedy mindset to one a little more stable! Instead of becoming discouraged because of my inability to make changes in my life or someone else’s life, I’ll stop trying and surrender the situation to God. To surrender is the door to success and abiding is the key. Step by step – day by day – we can do it if we abide – stick like glue.

My Funeral

2011-01-10T09:30:00.001-06:00

The boys and I heard the song, Mama, by Boys II Men while driving around yesterday and Secondborn told me he might sing that song at my funeral. After I smiled, he emphasized the word ‘might’ because he didn’t want me to get my hopes up – as if I would know if he would actually sing the song or not. I laughed, yet it presented a wonderful life lesson. I explained to Secondborn how much I enjoyed his singing and how I would enjoy it more while I was alive. I’ve always been amazed at how death, a funeral, or even sickness reminds us of our love for someone. Why don’t we love on purpose? Is it because we take advantage of life itself or do we believe we’re promised tomorrow? I know I need to hug my boys more. I know I should speak my husband’s love language more. I also need to tell my own parents how much I love and appreciate them more. No special day is needed nor is a grand program required – just do it – love on purpose – love everyone. Mothers tend to get so busy with life and wrapped up in the role of motherhood that we forget the power of the love we possess. The power we have to influence through our actions and the power we have to encourage through our words goes beyond expression. Our love is God’s love. Later that evening, I helped Secondborn with his History project and he was all smiles. He appreciated my help so much, he even sang a little while he worked. Although I was dog tired and really didn’t feel like helping, I was alive and enjoyed hearing him sing!

I Love Me

2011-01-03T07:42:00.001-06:00

Thigh toners, breast enhancers, lip puffers, abdominal rollers, butt boosters, and weight watchers are just a few commercials trying to convince me to improve my body. Thank God I’m old enough to know better, but my younger years tell a different story. I was skinny and had very skinny legs. I would sit in the mall with my younger sister and make her compare my legs to those of other girls’. I didn’t like my body and would wear baggy clothes to hide my frame. I was taller than everyone and walked slumped over in an attempt to be shorter. It’s a shame we place so much emphasis on our physical body and then pass this physical obsession on to our daughters (and sons). All women want to look and feel pretty, but the essence of who we are is much deeper than our physical attributes. Our height and weight is not what matters, but our character and our inner spirit is. How our spirits connect with each other and how we touch each other’s lives is what our memory should register – not the memory of one’s hair style. Loving me was a process and I believe age had a lot to do with it, but wouldn’t it be great if we taught our children how God created them just the way He wanted them? I guess we would have to believe this for ourselves before we teach it.

Yes, God created you and shaped you to be different – there is no one like you! You are unique and special in your own way. You were wonderfully made. You were created with beauty and specific purpose. Everything about you was meant to bring God glory. You are the daughter of a loving King and His loving Spirit lives within you; therefore, you should love yourself! Look past your skin and recognize your spirit within! Remember, as wives and mothers, before we can love others, we must love ourselves first.

I love me!

Why Me?

2010-12-27T06:32:00.005-06:00

Steven Spielberg’s, The Color Purple, is my favorite movie and I’ve always wanted to see the Broadway play. I’ve followed the tour on the Internet, but it’s either logistics, finances, or timing which prevents me from attending. As I listen to others say they’ve attended and how great the play was, a small ‘why me’ lingers in my mind.

I strive to be obedient, loving, and surrender my life, so why, Lord? Why can’t I have something as simple as being able to see The Color Purple?

I continued to follow the play and eventually forgot about it. Over the weekend, someone who had no idea of my love for the movie informed me the play was coming to my city. I was ecstatic! I’d finally get to see the play after what seemed like years of following it on the Internet.

I remembered how I questioned God’s will for my simple request. God’s timing is never ‘on time’ for us, but is always ‘on time’ for His plan for us. Not only is the play coming to my city, but I was offered two free tickets. I choose to believe this special blessing, with my name on it, is from My Heavenly Father.

Waiting on God is difficult to do, but He delivers in the most awesome ways.The timing for me to attend the play is perfect in every aspect. God knows exactly what, when, and how is best for us.

I still ask, “Why me, Lord?” This is an extra special gift and I dare not say I deserve this, but accept it and recognize it as a personal symbol of God’s tender mercy and grace of a simple desire. Thank you, Lord.

In 2011, I will continue living in bold obedience... knowing God knows what is best for me. He loves me in spite of me.

The Wrong Gift

2010-12-20T07:01:00.001-06:00

Our budget doesn’t allow for purchasing gifts this year, therefore my baking and other limited homemaking skills will definitely be used. Amazingly, this has been the most enjoyable, relaxing, stress free, shop-free Christmas I’ve ever experienced. Because we’ve been mindful of every penny spent this year, I’ve learned to financially depend on God like I should have always depended on Him. It’s so easy to wait, expect, and depend on payday and forget the true source of our needs.

As I focused on making and baking gifts with my hands, I learned the most valuable life lesson I’ve learned all year – Christmas isn’t about gift giving at all. Christmas is about the gift I’ve already been given! I’ve been focusing on the wrong gift. I need to be focused on the gift that can’t be purchased, made, baked, exchanged, or returned. The gift that doesn’t need any thought, but is free and can be shared by everyone. The gift that offers something no mall or online shopping store can ever offer. The gift that matters most is the gift of baby Jesus – The Prince of Peace!

Wouldn’t this simple reminder be a wonderful gift for everyone? Just think, not only am I sharing one gift, but this gift comes with unlimited accessories such as forgiveness, compassion, understanding, long-suffering, healing, deliverance, grace, mercy, unconditional love, and peace – perfect peace! Wow. I don’t even need a box or gift bag for this gift!

Merry Christmas to you and may ‘the gift’ set you free!

Mother's Intuition

2010-12-17T14:39:00.002-06:00

A mother's intuition is a powerful weapon, so don't ignore the thoughts of your children while they are out of your sight or even when they are at home. Our sixth sense is more powerful than we give it credit for!

I've learned the importance of praying for my children while they are in school. I also pray for them when they cross my mind throughout the day.

Mothers can't be everywhere nor can we see everything, but we have an intuition that let's us know when something just isn't right.

Listen to the voice...Pay attention to the feeling

Cut Your Own Toenails!

2010-12-15T09:34:00.003-06:00

A couple days ago, I noticed Firstborn was in desperate need for a pedicure, so I told him to cut his toenails. When he walked out of the room, hubby and I had this brief conversation.

Hubby: "I thought you cut the boys' toenails."

Me: " WHAT?" "You're kidding right?"

Hubby: "You use to."

Me: "OH MY GOD! Yeah, I use to cut them WHEN THEY WERE TODDLERS WITH CUTE FEET! Where have you been the past few years? Those feet are no longer cute!"

I sure hope hubby wasn't hinting that he wanted me to give him a pedicure. I did this for hubby once in my love is blind days. Sorry, I can see clearly now and you'll have to cut your own toenails. LOL!

Be Gone Busyness!

2010-12-13T09:36:00.003-06:00

With a few weeks left in December, I already have appointments and speaking engagements scheduled for the month of January. I promised myself I would not commit to busyness, but productivity – there is a difference. I don’t want a plate filled with non productive events simply to appease someone else’s agenda. I want to be used by God instead of using God for personal gain or to validate my busyness. I would be crazy and divorced if I agreed to each request I received.

I have to remind myself that only what I do for Christ will last. My family is my first ministry and having two active sons in separate schools and a high maintenance husband is a full time job requiring much overtime; there is little room for much else. Not having time to rest, renew my mind, enjoy my sons, spend quality time with hubby, and especially spend consecrated, contemplated time with my Creator is a sure sign of my busyness. Busyness isn’t a symbol of importance, yet reminds me my priorities are a little off. Jesus was a simple man – never rushed and always about His Father’s business. I need to be about my Father’s business also. I’m not so important that I can’t be replaced, so it’s important I allow God to order my steps in everything I’m asked to do and activities I desire to participate in. One helpful tool I use is remembering I’m in control of my stress level. I create my own busyness; therefore I have a choice to make with each request…busyness or productivity?

Look Behind You

2010-12-06T07:25:00.001-06:00

It seems like just yesterday I wrote about facing the unknowns of 2010 and the year is almost gone. If I had looked through a crystal ball to see what I had to endure this past year, I would have cried and questioned God’s plan for my life, but I’m still standing! I made it! Looking back, it was a piece of cake, but there were some rough storms to weather. My marriage, my children, my peace, finances, faith, and even a few friendships were tested. I would have gladly welcomed the easy road this year, but I’m one of God’s hard headed daughters and very little is learned in good times. God really does know what is best for me – especially when He waits until the eleventh hour to answer my calls for help. Trying to make things happen and manipulate God’s plan for my life only made matters worse. As I prepare to face the unknowns of another year, all I have to do is look behind me. When I look behind me, I see how God has ALWAYS been there for me. Things ALWAYS work out, so there should be no fear in the upcoming year. When situations arise which invite the spirit of doubt, I must look behind me and remember God’s promises. I’m more than a conqueror! God knows what is best for me! He said He would never leave me! He is faithful! He is my Protector! He is my Healer! God loves me and knows exactly what I need and when I need it. He is my sufficiency in all things! So, whatever today, tomorrow, or the next year holds, look behind you and be assured that everything is already alright!

Sharing A Proud Mama Moment

2010-12-04T23:31:00.002-06:00

WEAR ABC 3 :: Top Stories - Twelve Year Old Boy Known For His Great Cookies

That's my baby boiiiii

Kitchen Transformation

2010-11-29T09:58:00.001-06:00

While at my parent’s home this weekend, I realized the kitchen I grew up in had gone through some major changes. The cabinet color changed. The walls and even the flooring changed. The memories are still there, but the character of the kitchen has gone through a major transformation over the years. I thought of my days in the kitchen as a little girl and how I have also gone through a major transformation. The little girl became a woman. Even as a grown woman, there is transformation taking place. My seasons of womanhood invite challenging experiences and life lessons with purpose of molding me into a stronger and wiser wife and mother – a better woman.

Another new year is quickly approaching and as I look back over the years, transformation should be evident in every facet of my life. If the same things that bothered me two years ago are still bothering me, something must change. If the same people who irritated me last year are still irritating me, something must change. If I’m still struggling with the same weight and health issues I struggled with five years ago, something must change. Transformation should not only be visible in my physical life, but my emotional, mental, and spiritual life also. Change is good and necessary as we grow older. Just as the changes in my parent’s kitchen showed improvement, changes in my life should show visible improvement also. It’s time for transformation!

I Tried!

2010-11-22T07:38:00.001-06:00

I decided to get off the sofa and run in place while watching the last four minutes of the Philadelphia Eagles and New York Giants’ football game last night. Exciting as the game was, I had difficulty running out the four minutes. I tried encouraging myself, praying, and even thinking of a wonderful ending to this meditation, but nothing worked. My mind was saying, “Stop! You’ve done enough!” I had great intentions, but with exactly 2:51 left in the game, my body followed my mind and I stopped running. Four minutes can turn into fourteen minutes in a televised game with the time outs and station breaks, so I know I ran more than two minutes. Well, at least I tried!

With the holidays approaching, I hear a lot of talk about monitoring food intake and gaining weight. One thing we forget is our body is not our own – it belongs to God. We don’t have the right to eat what we want nor do we have a right not to exercise our temple. God knows our heart and will bless our intentions, so to attempt an exercise regime and monitor our food intake is a great start.

My will power will never be as strong as God’s supernatural power, so temple maintenance without Him leads to disaster. I always fail, but I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me. Today is a new day with new opportunities to bring God glory through my temple. One day at a time, one meal at a time, and one exercise regime at a time is the only way to tackle this – with God! Happy Thanksgiving to you and remember….everything in moderation!

Come to Mama!

2010-11-19T09:37:00.000-06:00

Today makes the second time hubby has dropped by the house during his working hours to drop off a bottle of 409 cleaner. Is 409 his idea of a beautiful bouquet of flowers? Is he telling me to clean up? I'm not sure what the deal is, but each time, I act excited and give him a big hug. Yeah, 409 is one of my favorite cleaners, but.... Oh forget it, I'll take the act of kindness any way I can get it! LMBO! Thanks, hubby! I love it and it smells so good!

By the way....the bottle of 409 came with this.... "Do you wanna go to dinner and a movie tonight?"

Come to mama, 409! Mama is gettin' ready to use you up!

Dip Me!

2010-11-15T09:10:00.000-06:00

I had one of my church family members laughing when I told her why I wore a red dress to worship service yesterday. Remember the scene from the movie, Carrie, when she stood on stage and a bucket of blood was poured on her? Sunday, I felt like I needed to be covered from head to toe – submerged - dipped in the blood of Jesus.

This weekend, I was surrounded by more than a few things to remind me of the troubled world we live in. Not only did I view more than a few disturbing things, but I thought a few disturbing thoughts as well. I saw girls dressed like they were looking for a corner, I heard young boys talking about finding Mary Jane (not a girl), and I heard whispers of deceitfulness, jealousy, gossip, and lies.

Friday and Saturday was all I could take, by Sunday I felt a need to be washed – dipped in the blood. Although the red dress was just my personal symbol of being covered, it sure helped my mindset. Although I have to live in this world, I sure don’t have to be of the world! Sunday night before going to bed, I turned the television on and surprisingly, I caught the Jesus movie right at the scene of the crucifixion. Coincidence? Not at all, but another reminder to focus on the powerful blood of Jesus. Because He shed His blood, I have life, health, deliverance from evil, and salvation! I don’t have my red dress on today, but whatever I see, hear, or endure; it’s already alright because I’m covered by the blood!

Sigh...

2010-11-10T09:25:00.000-06:00

I hate to say it, but it looks like Secondborn will have the teenage blues worse than Firstborn ever had them. Mr. Sunshine, Mr. Smiley, the example of Jesus in our home has taken a small detour down moody lane. I'm sure he'll be back...yeah, he'll be back....won't he? Pleeease, come back! He started early because he won't be 13 for another six months. I guess this is the prep stage (smile).

This morning I don't know if I got on his nerves or if he got on mine worse, but I knew we needed some space between us, so instead of driving him to his bus stop, I let him walk - again. When he walked off, I noticed he had not brushed his hair, so I politely asked him if he brushed it and he mumbled back into the house. Uh....I'm just trying to help you.

Sometimes teens just want to be left alone. Sometimes they don't want our help. Sometimes they don't want to hear our voices - although they need us. Sigh...one day at a time!

I try not to send my boys off to school with me talking at them and correcting them, but this morning was one of those mornings. I'm sure it won't be the last time, but I THANK GOD for Firstborn and the initiation he gave me into the teen years. It's time to pull out my secret weapon that always works like a charm. When they do something that doesn't make ANY sense or it seems like they are deliberately trying to get a reaction from you....DON'T REACT, SMILE, and SING IF NECESSARY!

Lalalalaaaaa....it's going to be a great day!

Shut Up and Pray!

2010-11-08T07:28:00.000-06:00

Hubby tries to make sure I have everything I need, but date nights aren’t a priority of his. I enjoy spending time with hubby - without the boys. I’ve talked about this way too much over the years, and my dissatisfaction was turning sour. Miss Flesh wanted to give hubby a piece of her mind, but instead, I was led to shut up and pray.

Friday afternoon, hubby called and asked if I wanted to go to dinner and a movie. Wow! I was excited and wanted to call my sister, my prayer partner, and a few other people, but I new better. Thank God I didn’t because Friday and Saturday passed and I didn’t see dinner or a movie. All I saw was mean and ugly on my face and in my heart. Sunday came with no mention of dinner. Shut up and pray…shut up and pray! My prayer was to show love – in spite of how I felt. Grrrrrr…

Coming home from church, I was reminded that Christians don’t battle with the flesh, but there are wicked forces out there trying to kill, still, and destroy my relationship with hubby. Miss Flesh wanted to sarcastically ask what happened to her dinner and movie, but was led to once again, shut up and pray; so I did. We pulled into the garage and hubby told the boys to go in the house because he and I were going somewhere. Yep, hubby took me out to eat. Miss Flesh wanted to ask about the movie, but I was so full and happy, I was ready to go home. I thanked God all the way home. I also let hubby know how appreciative I was for our long overdue date.

Life Lesson – Knowing when to shut up and pray allows God to show His power and increases my faith. God doesn’t need my help and hubby doesn’t need my lip talk (nagging).

Crazy Conversation

2010-11-03T14:15:00.000-05:00

I just had to share this crazy conversation Firstborn and I had. I left scratching my head and wishing I had never initiated it.

Me: "What are you wearing to school today?"

Firstborn: "What do you mean?"

Me: hesitating "What are you wearing to school today?"

Firstborn: "I don't know what you mean."

Me: "I don't know of any other way to ask the question. Boy, what are you wearing to school today?"

Firstborn: "Oh, you never asked me before, so I didn't understand."

Me: sighing "Okay, now that you understand. What are you wearing to school today?"

Firstborn: "Pants and a shirt."

Me: in my mind - #@!*

Anti Poptart Mom Falls

2010-10-28T10:16:00.001-05:00

This morning, not one sausage was browned, not one pancake was flipped, not one slice of bread was toasted, not one biscuit was buttered, nor was a pot of grits cooked. I can't believe it, but this is the first morning since school started that I did not cook someone breakfast. Wow. It actually felt good and to top it off, I asked Firstborn if he could buy some milk or a pop tart at school. I'm ANTI-POP TART, so he probably wondered if I was sick.

It's actually a reason for this out of character morning...Firstborn got in extremely late from an out of town football game, which meant I had to wake up out of a deep sleep to pick him up when the team arrived back in town. Of course he was hungry and had to recap the game. He also got hurt during the game, so I donned the late shift, nurse maid hat - I was so sleepy. When he finally got comfortable and went to bed, it was well after midnight. Where is hubby during all this? Conveniently out of town.

Needless to say, wake up call came waaay to early and I wasn't feeling the kitchen kudos at all. The only kudo I received was one I gave myself.....If I don't take care of myself, no one else will.

You know what else I noticed this morning? Firstborn or Secondborn didn't attempt to cook for themselves and they know how to heat a skillet as well as I do. Hmmm....that's another blog post.

Change the Channel

2010-10-25T06:35:00.001-05:00

The boys are out of school today and I THOUGHT I would be free from transporting Firstborn to school, but it turns out he has football practice early this morning. Good grief! I allowed myself a couple of minutes to sulk about not getting my way then set my mind on something more pleasant. Miss Flesh wanted me to complain about it a little longer and set my mind on the disgruntled channel. I’m about sick of Miss Flesh and her attempt to control me. We may not have limited access to the television remote control in our home, but we own the remote to our mindset. If a thought or situation is attempting to set your mind on an unpleasant channel, change the channel! There are a few good channels out there like joy, contentment, peace. The channel of thankfulness is always great.

We have a choice on what channel our mindset will be on, so why do we choose to entertain so much negative? Probably because it’s easier to just marinate on the mess than take the effort to change the channel. Well, for me and my mindset, we choose contentment and my desire is to keep my mind set on that channel all day. What about you? What channel are you choosing to set your mind on?

To Bathe or Not to Bathe?

2010-10-22T06:43:00.003-05:00

An older woman and I were recently talking and she mentioned her granddaughter's cycle had arrived. Hooray! Yeah, right! She was actually very excited about it, but I guess at 60 or 70 years old, you can be excited about Aunt Flo since you haven't seen her in years.

We continued talking about the challenges young girls face with their cycles and how they must deal with Aunt Flo for many years of their adult life. This older, wise woman also told me we shouldn't bathe during that time of the month. Hmmm...I've heard of older women saying they didn't wash their hair or go outside after bathing during that time of the month, but I've never heard of not bathing at all. She really didn't have an explanation for it besides, "That's just what we use to do."

Some women flow extremely heavy and choose not to bathe; it's a choice.

I don't have girls (thank God), but for everyone with daughters, what do you think?

To bathe or not to bathe? Leave your comment and possibly help the mothers out with young girls who will meet Aunt Flo soon!

Distractions

2010-10-18T05:03:00.002-05:00

While traveling on the highway yesterday, the above picture was my view. Beautiful trees and blue skies provided a very pleasant drive. I couldn’t help but thank God for being God as I observed His amazing creation. As I continued driving, my wandering thoughts took me to several places in my life. The beautiful scenery was still present, yet I wasn’t noticing it. My mind was not on God’s amazing creation, but on my life – money, marriage, children, ideas, fast approaching holidays, things to do, etc…yuck. Off and on, I would revisit the beautiful scenery, but only when my thoughts went back to God. Life is the same way. God’s beauty and goodness is always around me, yet my thoughts dictate my recognition of them. God doesn’t change, the beautiful scenery around me doesn’t change, but my thoughts do. I allowed the issues in my life to distract me from God. This life lesson while driving blew me away. I began praising God and thanking Him for reminding me to keep my mind on Him because when I do, my mindset is different, my wandering thoughts are in check, and my peace is perfect. Thank you, Jesus! It doesn’t matter what my money matters are, what mess is in my marriage, or what’s ahead on the winding highway (my day). As long as I keep my mind on Him, everything is already alright. What can I do about anything anyway? Not a doggone thing! Today I will not marinate on mental mess, but meditate on God’s goodness.

Exhaling... Happy Monday ladies! Enjoy the scenery!

Attitude In The City

2010-10-13T09:28:00.002-05:00

Ooooweeee! This morning was attitude city in our home. After a peaceful time of quiet meditation and prayer and an early morning walk, I came home to.....uh.....well, let me just tell the story.

It really wasn't a big deal, but I was on such a joyful high until Secondborn woke up and tried to pour mud on my joy. Secondborn wakes up asking if he had time to wash a pair of shorts. Excuse me? Hubby was still home, so instead of using my breath, I told him to ask his father because I knew what the answer would be. Not only did Secondborn get the big NO, he got a lecture. heehee

Secondborn then came in the kitchen and sat. Yes, he wakes in the morning and will SIT until I tell him to get up. I knew he was sitting to get on my nerves (upset about the shorts), so I let him sit, and sit, and sit. He could have sat until school started - I was determined to keep my joy! I immediately turned on some spiritual music to drown out his hum drums and sighs.....Lord, help me!

He finally got up and I told him to come and eat, but he states he isn't hungry. This was another intentional joy killer because I HATE it when he doesn't eat breakfast and he knows how I feel about starting the day with breakfast. Instead of reacting and stirring up a parent/child debate, this smart mama recognized the joy killer and I let his stomach and brain reap the consequences of malnutrition. I told him not to call me when he got a headache or stomach ache. Grrrrrr

Time to walk out the door. Son, did you brush your teeth? He sighs and walks toward the bathroom as if I told him to go in the bathroom and pull his own teeth out without anesthesia. Good grief, boy! Why go to school and kill everyone with your halitosis?Sigh....

His teeth were brushed, he had on jeans instead of shorts, his stomach was empty, and he was ready for school. We prayed together as we always do, but after the prayer he asked to walk to the bus stop. I usually take him, but I let him walk and I drove up later to wait for the bus. I could tell he was still in a funky mood, so maybe he needed some time to clear his head before school. Everyone deserves time alone.

I gave him time to get to the bus stop and guess what I see? Secondborn was running, playing, and LAUGHING while playing tag with the other boys. What the .......? He obviously found his own joy since he couldn't steal and kill mine!

Hmmm...Secondborn will be an official teenager in less than six months, are these signs for preparation? Well, little does he know this Mama has already been through teenage initiation with Firstborn and I REFUSE to travel that road again. I WILL keep my joy!

Rescue Me!

2010-10-11T07:36:00.002-05:00

If you follow the Momsweb Blog, you’ve read about Secondborn being bullied in middle school. It is a mother’s natural instinct to run to the rescue when a child is in trouble, but as our children grow older, rescuing isn’t always the answer.

Yesterday, I visited Mary, the mother of Jesus. After years of watching her son wrongfully accused and abused, she had to watch him bleed to death on the cross. Although, this visit was in my mind, it was real in my heart. I’m sure Mary wanted to rescue her son. Instead, she was forced to watch. There was a bigger plan that couldn’t be interrupted. The same goes for Secondborn - and every other child. Mothers want to protect our babies from the hard knocks of life, yet some of the knocks must be felt. I am in no way, comparing a child’s challenges to being crucified, but I am comparing how pain and suffering can produce power. There is always a bigger plan.

The ironic part of all this is that I call Secondborn the Jesus in our home because of his compassion, giving spirit, and servant attitude. Just as Jesus suffered, he must suffer also – we all must have our dose of suffering, yet would prefer being rescued. I initially wanted to visit Secondborn’s school, be the crazy mother I am, and beat bully’s butt. God suffocated my motherly instinct to run to the rescue. As it turns out, Secondborn will be able to help other children being bullied and be a voice for the many who have committed suicide because of bullying. There is a bigger plan that can’t be interrupted.

Is your child enrolled in the school of hard knocks? Are you using your motherly intuition to discern when to answer the knock and when not to?

Read more about Secondborn in our blog, Life in Middle School

Romans 8:18 (NLT)

Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.

My Baby is Being Bullied

2010-10-07T11:59:00.001-05:00

My baby boy was excited about going to public school. Little did he know what was ahead of him.

Visit our blog at Life in Middle School

www.bullysandmore.blogspot.com

Embarrassing Brown Bag

2010-10-04T07:45:00.000-05:00

“Mama, do you think you can buy me a black shirt?” “Can you buy the material for my project?” “Can I go to the dance?” These are just a few recent requests of Firstborn. Yesterday he asked to go to the store to buy a drink for .75 cents, which was all the money he had. Since his summer job of cutting grass is over, a cash flow lesson was needed. Instead of lecturing him about spending his last penny on something he didn’t need, I told him he needed to take his lunch to school one or two days this week to assist with the cash flow into his pocket. He chose not to buy the drink to avoid the embarrassing brown bag. Brown bags are obviously not cool. Cool or not, son you will be brown bagging it one day this week or you’ll be hungry! I didn’t want to go this route, but it was necessary. Later in the evening, I reminded him about his brown bag lunch and I received a very quiet, “Yes Ma’am.” He’ll be okay, and this mama will make sure it’s one of the best brown bag lunches ever. It’ll be so good; he’ll want to take another one – maybe. I’m sure Firstborn’s purchase requests will continue and regardless if they are wants or needs, as long as he does his part, it’s okay. As a mother, I have an obligation to not only provide the needs and wants of my children, but to teach them how these needs and wants are met, how to generate their own income, and how to cut back! Mothers should also set an example. Break out the brown bags!

II Thessalonians 3:10

… "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."

Teenage Attire

2010-10-01T09:41:00.001-05:00

I'm so happy we didn't spend a bunch of money on school clothes for the boys because they have a closet full of clothes, but it seems like they wear the same clothes week after week. T-shirts and shorts, T-shirts and shorts. Firstborn will at least mix it up a bit with some color and collared shirts, but Secondborn wears the same brown and green to school week, after week, after week. I told him his teachers were going to think he didn't have any clothes and take up a donation for him.

I sure won't complain about this because at least they're doing their laundry.

If you wanna wear it, you gotta wash it. If Mama washes it, she may hide it!

Hmmm...where is my brown shirt?

Make My Day!

2010-09-27T08:37:00.000-05:00

When the boys wake up, I have no idea what kind of morning disposition they’ll have, so I try to be prepared. Talkative, lazy, disgruntled, or full of scheme to wear what they want to school could be the case in this house. My older sister, mother of two grown boys, told me not reacting to her sons’ unacceptable behavior worked like a charm for her. Her youngest went through a gothic stage and she never said a word through his entire black season. Eventually the darkness disappeared. I’m a woman of many words, so ignoring my sons’ actions takes a lot of effort, but I can do it. This applies to dealing with anyone throughout the day – inside and outside the home. People are a challenge. I can’t escape them – they are everywhere. I can’t change their actions, but I can control my reaction to them. A try-me teen, troubled tween, cranky co-worker, nosey neighbor, helpless husband, finicky friend, long red light, slow driver, or even a phone call can be a trap to trip us up and ruin our day. Our anger, frustration, or lack of patience is what trips us…not the trap itself. The trap has no power. I have to remind myself throughout the day that God gave me the power to make my day – no one or nothing else. These trifling traps must be used to empower me. Each one must be recognized as a tool to strengthen me for the next trap coming. This is the attitude a woman of God must have. We must be ready to walk over those traps, not be tripped by them. Let’s turn those traps into triumphs! So, are we ready for the day? Get ready – set – go! Go ahead, make my day!

Psalm 118:24 (NIV)

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Touch Me!

2010-09-20T05:18:00.001-05:00

Sunday morning, I awoke tired, irritable, and I didn’t feel like being bothered. I was aware of my raging hormones, so I quickly connected to my power source before I interacted with anyone. I went to my quiet place and practically begged God for strength, energy, power, and a new attitude. I felt foul, but awakened the boys up with my happy voice, “Rise and shine, Give God the glory!” I wasn’t feeling happy or God’s glory, yet trying to get out of my funk. Hubby walked by me and hit me on my behind several times. I felt like punching him, but didn’t. I simply ignored him as I continued to pray for God’s covering. The only touch I desired was a touch from above. Eventually, Miss Flesh and her foulness disappeared. It took a while; but it happened. God’s power can break through the strongest of ungodly emotions, moods, and attitudes. A woman deals with so many seasons of change in her body, but as long as we are under God’s control, we can maintain a peace within us that surpasses all understanding. Our moods and emotions may change like the wind, but holding on to God’s unchanging hand is our hope. As I allowed Him to saturate me with His Spirit and as I continually recalled His promises, His sweet, loving spirit covered my foul spirit. Monday is a new day with new needs for God’s covering. As I cover my physical, I allow Him to cover my spiritual. I need God’s touch in order to touch others with His love – inside and outside the home. The song, He Touched Me, is playing in my head as I type. Touch me, Lord!

Children Battle Too!

2010-09-14T10:19:00.001-05:00

Adults aren't the only ones battling in life. Children also battle life in their own age specific way. While toddlers are busy having their personal temper tantrums, tweens and teens are battling peer pressure, mood swings, keeping their mouth shut, teachers, grades, and friends. They even battle against their own bodies and minds as they transition into young adults. Some battle each morning with having to go to school!

I try to remember this when I send the boys off to school and when I welcome them home. The one place they should feel safe and secure from the battles of life is at home. Home is where children should be strengthened with love and words of encouragement. If home isn't a safe haven for our children, they are sure to find one!

Fussing, cussing, nagging, and talking at our children instead of talking to them can be rough on a young mind. I know, I know, how many times do you have to tell them to take out the trash, wash the dishes, or clean their room before you raise your voice? I know; I'm there!

I realized raising my voice wasn't producing the results I wanted, so it was time to try something new...a lower tone with an increase in patience - teens have their own time line. They'll get the job done as long as you don't expect it to be done immediately. The last thing I want is for my sons to hate hearing me call their name. Hmmm... it might be a little too late!

Do this, do that, didn't I tell you to do this, why didn't you do that? Wouldn't it be horrible to know our children hear us as Charlie Brown's teacher? Oh my!

Anyway, remember the unspoken battles your children are having. They'll be grown and gone soon, so make their home memories joyful ones.